


A Drop of Ink

by Pixelatrix



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Friendship, Humor, M/M, Multi, Oral Sex, Polyamory, Romance, Sex Toys, Slightly Straying from Canon, brief mention of past child abuse nothing graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-16
Updated: 2014-10-16
Packaged: 2018-01-25 01:54:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 38,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1625357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pixelatrix/pseuds/Pixelatrix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inkera 'Ink' Shepard grew up fishing off of the shores of Finland with her parents.  Her life changes abruptly and not for the better when her parents die while fishing.  She meets a 'friend' in a grief chatroom on the extra-net and spends years talking to her anonymous friend.  It isn't until she's in her twenties, fighting for her life in the Alliance that she discovers who this friend is and who he is married to.</p><p>Story follows Ink from pre-canon to ME1, ME2 & ME3.</p><p>May contain spoilers for in-game events.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929 
> 
> Hope you enjoy.

_From: Ink_

_To: Paper_

_Subj: re: Home._

_Are you forgetting the rules we set up when we started messaging each other? No personal information like names or places._

_In three years, you’ve never asked why now?_

_I’ll be fine._

_My aunt can’t really force me into marriage._

_Can she?_

_Ink_

* * *

 

_From: Paper_

_To: Ink_

_Subj: re: Home._

_She’s used you as a maid for her home and business place since you were nine. She barely feeds you. The only reason you attend school is child protective services intervened._

_Yes, I can imagine her selling you off to be married as soon as she thinks you look old enough to pass for legal._

_I’d really like to help you._

_Please let me._

_Paper_

* * *

 

Inkera Shepard turned sixteen in two weeks. She would be married to a sleazy local politician in three weeks. It didn’t matter what her penpal said. She didn’t expect a miracle.

_Those never happened for her._

‘Paper’ was a joking reference to the fact Inkera signed off her messages with her nickname, Ink. Her penpal didn’t know it was her real name though. They’d met in a grief counseling chat room on the extra-net several years ago and stayed in touch.

She had entered the chat grief stricken over her parents’ deaths. Paper never said why he was there. She didn’t know for certain that he was a…he. But, some of the things he said made her assume.

Her parents fished the waters off of Helsinki. They went down with their small fishing boat. It had crashed ashore a few weeks later. Ink had seen the pictures of it on the news.

Her only living relative was an aunt who lived in a small town outside of the city. She ran a brothel. Ink had immediately been put to work cleaning the place. It was her daily routine; school, cleaning, more cleaning, and even more cleaning. When she wasn’t doing those four things, she was trying to avoid the men in the brothel.

_Ink spent a lot of time avoiding the men in the brothel._

Closing her omni-tool, Ink moved from her bed to stare at her reflection in the mirror that covered the back of her door. She grimaced at her jeans which were old and ratty. She’d cut the hem when it had frayed too much. A growth spurt had added a few inches to her height making it even more obvious they were too short for her.

Her father had been a tall man, over six foot five. Her mother had been close to six feet tall as well. Ink was well on her way to five foot eight at just sixteen. Her aunt liked to stand in her front of the mirror and point all of her flaws out to her.

_‘Ugly, tall, shoulders like a man.’_

There was no end to the vitriol her aunt spat at her. It was exhausting. Day in and day out. Her shoulders hunched forward as an ineffective shield from the mental barrage. It was hard to tune out the voice in her head.

She winced when her t-shirt rubbed against a bruise on her back. She’d tried to ask her aunt for new clothes. It hadn’t gone over well.   The woman had given her even more chores to do instead.

_Ink had plans to make though._

_Big ones._

In a week, Ink’s class would be visiting the sky-port in Helsinki for their end of year trip. There were three Alliance vessels scheduled to be in port that day. If she could sneak on one, it would be a free ticket to safety from a forced marriage.

_Forced marriage._

It was a mild term for what would happen to her. Ink glanced into her grey eyed reflection. Her head tilted forward until her fine, white blonde hair covered her face. She wished she could shield herself from it all.

Her _beloved_ aunt had left her alone with her husband-to-be only once. He had been _all_ over her. When Ink bit his hand, he slammed her onto the floor. Her aunt had locked her in her room for the weekend without food. It was then she realized running was the only option.

_No one was coming to her rescue._

* * *

 

_From: Ink_

_To: Paper_

_Subj: Absent._

_I’m going to be gone for a little while._

_I’m running out of time to save myself. I don’t…I’m scared._

_I can do this._

_Ink_

* * *

 

_From: Paper_

_To: Ink_

_Subj: Safety._

_Your safety is more important that stupid rules._

_Please let me help you._

_Paper_

* * *

 

“You have exactly one minute to explain to me why I shouldn’t toss you off of my ship?” The captain loomed over her. He had dragged her into his private quarters the minute she’d been discovered hiding in the shuttle bay.

“I…” Her eyes went wide as she tried to think of something. “We’re already flying and killing a teenager would be bad for your career?”

“Have a seat, smartass.” He gestured to one of the chairs around a small table in the center of the room. “My name is Kristoffer Nolek. This is my ship. I’m a captain in the Alliance. Why did you stowaway?”

“I’m…”

“The truth.”

Slumping into the chair, Ink dropped her plaid backpack on the floor. She told him everything about her parents, her aunt, the marriage. She even showed him some of the bruises for proof it wasn’t just some sob story. Captain Nolek’s dark blue eyes seemed filled with sympathy and anger. She didn’t think the anger was directed at her.

“What was your plan after you stowed away?” He asked.

“I hadn’t thought that far ahead.” Ink gripped the strap of her backpack with a sense of desperation. If he sent her to her aunt after all of this, she didn’t want to think about what would happen to her. “Just let me go…wherever you dock next, please? I won’t be any trouble. You’ll never see me again.”

“I do not relish spending months worrying about whether you survived.” Nolek frowned at her.

He took a seat across from her. He told her about the Advanced Training Academy for Juveniles. It was a school for children with potential. There were scholarships for students without family or financial supports.

Nolek reached out to untangle her fingers. They were hurting from how hard she’d been clenching her backpack. He promised to get her into the academy if she passed the entrance exams. The only thing that he wanted was Ink’s promise to do her best.

“My aunt…”

“She will be visited shortly by officials from the Alliance. It will be in her best interest to sign over guardianship of you to me and my wife. We’ve always wanted a daughter and sadly haven’t been able to have children.” Nolek met her eyes. “The guardianship allows me to make sure that she can’t touch you ever again. It also lets me transfer you from your school to the academy on Arcturus.”

“Why would you do this?” Ink asked suspiciously.

“You were brave enough to run away when you had no one to ask for help.” He squeezed her hand and then sat back. “I admire the courage that took. My wife and I have talked about adoption for years. This way I don’t have to deal with diapers and bottles. You’re already potty trained.”

Ink started to glare at him and then giggled with a shake of her head. “That’s messed up.”

“But honest.”

“I don’t have anything to pay you back with.” Ink stared down at her filthy jeans. “I can clean.”

“I don’t want a _servant._ ”

She flushed in embarrassment. “I didn’t mean…”

“Inkera…”

“Ink,” she corrected.

“Ink.”

“Why do you really want to do this?” Ink had a feeling there was more to the story.

His smile faded slightly. “My wife has lost several children over the twenty years that we’ve been married. You need a home, a safe place and a family. If you prefer, there are Alliance programs that can help you.”

* * *

 

_From: Ink_

_To: Paper_

_Subj: Safe._

_Sorry it took me so long to message you back._

_I’m…I’ve been…stupid rules._

_I’m safe._

_I’m not with my aunt anymore. My plan ended up working out it a way that I never imagined. Someone came to my rescue. A really nice man and his wife are giving me a place to say and helping me get into a different school._

_I didn’t want you to worry._

_Ink_

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy.

Seven years later, Ink was curled up under an emergency blanket at the landing zone on Akuze. Her entire body ached worse than all six months of boot camp put together. She’d pulled all of her armor off the moment the acid started to burn through it to her skin.

She’d triggered the distress beacon on their damaged Mako and now was stretched out beside it. Her weapons and omni-tool had been melted into useless pieces of nothing. She tugged the blanket tighter around her body. She was definitely going into shock.

Her mind drifted to her most recent chat with Paper. Ten years in, they still messaged almost every day. Ink wouldn’t admit to anyone the depth of emotion she had begun to develop towards her anonymous friend. It had grown as she’d become an adult.

If her omni-tool had been working, Ink would’ve definitely sent him a message and one to the Noleks as well. They’d turned out to be amazing foster parents for her. Kristoffer had kept a close eye on her even after she joined the Alliance. His wife Britta had been just as welcoming and caring.

“Lieutenant Shepard?”

Ink peeled the edge of the blanket from her face and stared up into a pair of clear blue eyes. “That’s me.”

“Where is your squad, Lieutenant?” The man with the very entrancing eyes knelt in the grass beside her. Her ears were so filled with screams and screeching that she hadn’t heard his shuttle land. “How injured are you?”

“My squad is dead.” Ink took a shallow breath and attempted to get to her feet. “We were attacked by some kind of creature that spewed acid. I…my armor….I’ve got a lot of burns, Sir.”

“Can you walk?” He took her hand to help her up. He blinked in surprise when she brought herself up to her full height of six feet. She’d grown used to the reaction over the years. “I’m Admiral Hackett. Let’s get you to the shuttle. Kristoffer asked me to make sure you were safe.”

“Safe?” Ink stared at him. She was _definitely_ going in to shock. “Paska. _Nothing_ is ever safe.”

“Paska?” He sounded confused. “Did my translator glitch?”

“Finnish. It means shit.” Ink limped slowly towards the shuttle. Each step hurt more than she would admit, but no way was she letting someone carry her. “I find cursing in Finnish keeps me out of trouble with my CO, _Sir._ ”

“Are you from…”

“Helsinki.” Ink’s eyes darkened when she thought about home. “The ships that I used to go on were water bound.”

They finally made it on the shuttle. In the light of the vehicle, Ink got a much closer look at the man. He looked to be in his forties. She found the rest of him as attractive as his eyes had been earlier. He seemed to find her less than subtle admiring gaze amusing.

“Admiral…”

“Steven.” He waved off the title. “Save the _Admiral_ for when we’re on my ship or Arcturus. Your name is Inkeri, I believe.”

“Ink,” she corrected. “Call me Ink.”

His eyes narrowed on her. “You go by Ink? If I said ‘Paper,’ what would it mean to you?”

_It couldn’t be._

_Paska._

Her mouth fell open in shock. “You are Paper?”

“And my husband.” Hackett guided her into a seat so he could get a closer look at her more visible injuries. “We went into that grief chat room years before we met you when our wife died. We…separated for a long time after it happened, when we met you that night after your parents passed away, we had just gotten back together.”

“Your wife…and husband?” Ink hadn’t heard of many group marriages, not in Helsinki anyway. “I’m sorry that you lost her.”

“Thank you.” He turned her arm to look at some of the burns. “How much pain are you in?”

“Not as bad as the time I fell into the sea,” Ink shrugged then winced. “It hurts.”

“We’ll get you to the Med Bay.” Hackett hesitated briefly then sat beside her. “So, Ink…”

She didn’t get to find out what he was going to say. Her minimization of her injuries caught up to her. She slumped against the Admiral unconscious.

* * *

 

_From: Steven_

_To: Zaeed_

_Subj: Ink._

_I met our friend Ink yesterday._

_She’s a stunning six foot blonde with grey eyes and a sweet smile. Her voice has this quiet clarity with a silken lilt to it._

_We are in so much trouble._

_She’s in her mid-twenties, way too young for two old bastards._

_I know our message exchanges from the last two or three years had caused us to have more of an interest in her, but…she is phenomenal in person._

_I have no idea what we’re going to do._

_Steven_

* * *

 

In her thirty day recovery, Ink didn’t hear from Hackett once. She messaged ‘Paper’ a few times but never knew for certain which man she was talking to. Kristoffer and Britta came to see her at least a few times a week. He seemed suspicious of her questions about the Admiral.

Britta finally just shoved him out of the room. She told Ink all about Hackett and his _very handsome_ husband, Zaeed Massani. She laughed when Kristoffer stepped back into the room with an annoyed look on his face.

“Jealous?” Britta teased.

“She shouldn’t…” He shook his head with a sigh when Ink raised an eyebrow at him. “Yes, Ink, I do realize that you are twenty-three. I simply choose not to give a damn. The Admiral is too damn old for you to even think about that way.”

“What way?” Britta asked.

“I’m firing you both as parental figures.” Ink rolled her eyes at the two of them. “So does your sudden appearance today mean that I finally have my freedom?”

“Only because you charmed the doctor,” he accused.

“Asking nicely isn’t charm. It’s good manners.” Ink eased out of bed to reveal that she’d already changed out of the hospital pajamas into cargo pants and a plaid button-up shirt. “Shall we?”

“What kind of damn marine asks nicely?” Kristoffer grabbed her bag to carry for her. “What did those idiots teach you in boot camp?”

She ignored his complaints because Kristoffer always enjoyed teasing her. The truth of the matter was that Ink had excelled in boot camp. Her six foot frame and muscular body helped her immensely. She became adept at weapons and tactical warfare. She’d been shoved into officer’s school the minute she graduated.

Until Akuze, Ink served as second in command to a specialized unit within Team Beta. While in the hospital, she’d received new orders to head to Rio for N-School. The only surviving member of her squad, she hadn’t really expected to return to duty with her old division. They had thankfully given her an additional month of Shore-leave post her stay at the hospital.

She knew _exactly_ what to do with it.

* * *

 

_From: Paper_

_To: Ink_

_Subj: re: Helsinki._

_Is it really wise to visit your aunt?_

_Alone?_

_Kristoffer would go with you if you asked._

_Paper_

* * *

_From: Ink_

_To: Paper_

_Subj: re: Helsinki._

_Yes, it is necessary._

_Yes, I am going alone._

_And yes, he would offer to go, he’d demand to go which is why I didn’t tell him or Britta._

_I’ll tell them all about it when I return._

_Ink_

_P.S. You need separate monikers so I know who I’m talking to._

* * *

 

Ink reclined uncomfortably in the private cabin she booked for the trip _home_. Her height was occasionally very inconvenient. She tried to squash herself comfortably into the cramped room that was certainly too small for the small couch and two arm chairs that it held.

She glanced up when the door opened. Hackett stepped inside with a man beside him. He looked a few years younger than the Admiral. He was sexy though scars and tattoos and all. He had a rugged, tough exterior that contrasted with Hackett.

“Admiral.” She shifted back in her seat to pull her feet off of the couch so they had somewhere to sit. She stood up and snapped a salute at him. “And Admiral’s friend.”

“My husband, Zaeed Massani.” Hackett patted the man on the back. “Zaeed, meet Ink.”

The conversation on the way to Helsinki was light. Ink avoided looking directly at either man. She had a crush…on both of them…it made her feel awkward and flushed. She wasn’t particularly fond of the sensation.

They stepped out of the sky-port and memories almost knocked Ink to the ground. She forced herself to head out of the building. Her quiet sigh was not missed by the men walking on either side of her.

“Ink?”

She continued walking without responding to Hackett’s query. It was lunchtime. The brothel would be empty of just about everyone but her aunt. The girls tended to spend the mornings out in the city. She didn’t want an audience for the conversation with the woman.

“We’re going with you.” Hackett’s tone left no question to the fact the two men wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“Is that an order, Sir?” Ink paused by the sky-car terminal outside the port. She crossed her arms and turned toward him. “Ridiculous question, it can’t be an order. Why are you both here?”

“It’s called support.”

“Why?” She wanted the real answer, the _full_ answer.

“We _like_ you.” Zaeed reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. She caught his wrist with her fingers. “We want to know if we more than goddamn like you.”

“And?”

He twisted his hand to take a hold of her wrist to drag her forward. His lips grazed her cheek when she purposefully turned her head away from him. “We’re not going any bloody where so get used to it.”

“He’s very… _demanding_.” Ink ignored the man whose breath kept whispering across her skin to stare blandly at Hackett. “Is he always this…demanding?”

“He is. I find it endearing.” Hackett laughed when his husband glared at him.

“I’m not kissing either of you, yet.” Ink shifted her grey eyes to look seriously at Zaeed. “You’re going to have to let me go if we’re going to get to my aunt’s brothel in time.”

“I’ve never had a woman take me to a goddamn whore house before.” Zaeed dodged Hackett’s hand when it swung toward him. “If she doesn’t want to kiss, she doesn’t need to see foreplay either.”

“ _Zaeed._ ”

“You are the most fascinating men I’ve met in a long time.” Ink slid into the driver’s seat and fought back a laugh. She rubbed absently at one of the burn scars on her forearm. “This isn’t going to be a pleasant visit.”

“ _Good._ ” Hackett answered though Zaeed nodded his agreement.

The two story townhouse in an older section of the city hadn’t changed since Ink had last been there. _Not much anyway._ The paint was peeling a little more. The windows weren’t as clean as Ink had always kept them. The three steps up to the door hadn’t been swept in a long time. She let herself in and walked the familiar halls with the two men behind her.

“You came back.” Her aunt looked older…much older. She stood up from the couch to stand in the middle of the small room off of the foyer

Ink hadn’t thought about what she’d say to the woman if she ever saw her again. She didn’t expect the sudden attack when her aunt launched herself at her. Zaeed caught her aunt by the arm and had her pressed against the wall in a flash. He bent down to murmur in her ear.

Her desire to confront the woman faded, Ink left the brothel without another word. She was silent when the two men joined her in the skycar. She brushed off their attempts to talk and guided the vehicle out of the city. It took an hour to get to the desolate beach that served as the home for many fishing vessels that had been wrecked off of the coast.

The _Tytär_ was ten minute walk down the rocky beach. Ink would recognize her anywhere, even twelve years later with her paint faded and parts ripped from her hull. She grabbed the edge of the shipwrecked vessel and hauled herself up into it. Her aunt had never let her visit after the crash.

Zaeed and Hackett found a dry piece of driftwood to sit on as they waited for her. Ink hadn’t expected to find anything on the ship. Local kids tended to salvage and destroy the many shipwrecked vessels on the stretch of shoreline. She struggled until she got herself into the small cabin that she’d spent a lot of her childhood napping in.

She had to low-crawl on her belly to move around the damaged cabin. She finally found the place she’d hidden all of her treasures as a child. It was relatively untouched by the weather. Yanking back on the loose plank, her small treasure chest tumbled out of it.

Shoving it into the pocket on her cargo pants, Ink carefully made her way back out of the ship. She paused to glance around the wheel house. There were no signs left that her parents had even owned it. She pulled her pocket knife out and flipped it open to unscrew the metal sign on side of vessel.

“What does tytär mean?” Hackett ran his fingers over the letters on the sign when Ink finally walked over to them.

“Daughter.” Ink smiled sadly down at it. “When they died, I never got to go home or to the ship. None of my things were saved or my parents’ belongings kept. My aunt sold or destroyed everything.”

“What’s in the box?” Zaeed pulled out a cigarette. He glared at Hackett when he took it and replaced it in the box. “Bastard.”

“Childhood treasures.” She lifted the lid from the box that had been a cookie tin at one point. Her fingers shifted through the random collection of things. “It’s worthless junk to anyone but me. My first fishing lure, a pen knife that belonged to my grandfather, a tiny ring that I wore as a toddler.”

“Treasures.” Hackett stood up and carefully brushed off his jeans. “May I?”

He took the tin from her, gently closed it and handed to Zaeed for safekeeping. He waited for her to nod before taking her into his arms. Ink found her body molded against his for a perfect fit. His hand came up to lightly press her head against his chest.

“What are you doing?” Ink tried to tilt her head back to look up at him.

“It’s called comforting someone. You should get used to it.” He tightened his hold on her. “We plan on offering it to you whenever needed.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Britta: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/85918636691/banditsonabustonorway-immaculate-claire
> 
> Ink's body reference as an adult: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/83631138927/vikosinaa-ronda-rousey


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy.

_From: Kristoffer Nolek_

_To: Ink Shepard_

_Subj: Shore-Leave._

_My lovely wife tells me to leave this alone, but I can’t._

_Are you really taking shore-leave in New York or did you change your mind and head to Helsinki? Is everything all right?_

_I dislike worrying, message me so I can stop. Seriously, I’m too young to develop more grey hair._

_Kristoffer_

* * *

 

Slouching into her chair, Ink shut her omni-tool without responding. She didn’t know how she felt about _everything_ and lying to Kristoffer usually ended badly. He had an uncanny ability to tell if she was lying, even via text. She sipped her hot tea, but shoved the plate with her breakfast away. Her appetite disappeared at the mere thought of her aunt.

She paid for her uneaten Pannukkaku and decided to return to her hotel. The rest of the shore-leave would be spent fishing, far away from people and particularly two men who confused her. She disliked being so unsettled by them.

It wouldn’t be hard to find a small boat to rent. She still remembered the old spot her father had taken her as a child. She wondered if one of her father’s old fishing partners still offered his boat to tourists during the off-season.

Ink started down the narrow street that led to her hotel. She was three buildings away when a familiar man stepped out of a barbershop in front of her. She couldn’t stop her shoulders from hunching forward at the sight of him. The man she’d almost been sold to.

“Running away again?” His fingers snatched her back by the hair when she tried to walk hurriedly by him.

Not a helpless sixteen year old any longer, Ink had him on the ground with her knife to his throat in a second. She whispered a warning to him then got to her feet. It took tremendous self-discipline not to kick him while he was down. She closed her weapon only to have it plucked out of her hand.

“Impressive.” Zaeed inspected the beautifully carved knife that had once belonged to her grandfather. He handed it back to her then glanced down at the man still at her feet. “And who’s this goddamn bastard?”

“A problem that I have handled sufficiently.” Ink pocketed her knife and continued toward the hotel. Zaeed strolled along beside her. She stopped a few feet from the door and frowned at him. “Why are you both still here?”

“We like you,” he shrugged. “That going to be a goddamn problem for you?”

Ink raised a slim eyebrow at him. “I haven’t decided yet.”

“Decided on what?”

“If you are a problem,” she clarified. She used her fingers to straighten her hair that had gotten tangled when she’d been grabbed. “I am going fishing.”

Zaeed glanced around with a grin. “For what? Bricks?”

“Not here.” Ink scowled at him. She didn’t know how to handle him…or his husband. “I’m going to rent a boat to go fishing for a few days before I return to Arcturus to prepare for N-school.”

“Are we invited to fish?” Hackett stepped up behind them.

Ink opened her mouth to say a _firm_ ‘no,’ since it would be a _terrible_ idea. “Yes.”

Hackett smiled at her in response. Ink glanced over at Zaeed whose grin seemed to tell her that he knew she’d planned to say no. Her eyes narrowed on him. It was time to make something very clear.

“I intend to spend my time fishing, not kissing or touching you in any manner. If you aren’t planning to fish, or if you are prone to sea-sickness, stay on land.” Ink pushed her hair impatiently out of her eyes. “I do _not_ screw around.”

“Celibate? Going in for a goddamn nun at some point?” Zaeed took her hand in his. He pulled it back from her face and then gently tucked the stray hair behind her ear. “I know how to bloody fish.”

“Good.” Ink pried his fingers off of her wrist. “I’m a lousy teacher.”

They spent three days on the sometimes choppy waters. Ink ignored the two men, as much as she could ignore two incredibly handsome men, for the most part. When she wasn’t guiding the rented boat, larger than what she’d intended, she was sitting at the front with a fishing rod in her hand.

She’d cooked everything that they caught for their dinners. It brought back memories of the happy years before the shipwreck that took her parents. She loved the gentle rocking on the boat. The sound of the water against the hull, it was home. She missed it, and at times, sadness completely overcame her.

Setting her rod down at her feet, Ink leaned forward until she could lean her arm over the edge of the boat. Her fingers dipped into the cold water. She caught a glance at her reflection and for a split second felt like she was looking into her mother’s eyes.

_Stop it, Ink._

Surging up to her feet, Ink stormed up to the helm of the boat. She shoved it into the top speed and steered it to shore. Hackett made his way up to her with concern in his eyes. She could see Zaeed putting away their fishing gear.

“Ink?”

“I look just like my mother.” Ink wondered if Hackett could even hear her over the roar of the engine. “Same hair, same eyes, same freckles. My father teased me about it incessantly. He’d tug on my braided hair and laugh when I tried to tackle him. I might have her looks, but I have his spirit, his mind, certainly his height and frame. My mother was an angel, sweet and happy and kind. She…was soft, gentle…looked like a woman. I’m not soft.”

“Ink?”

She turned stormy grey eyes toward him. “I don’t _do_ soft. I’m tall and strong, and I’ll never be _feminine._ I don’t know how. I’m not the woman that you want, and I wish you’d both leave me alone.”

Hackett reached down to slowly ease back the throttle on the boat until it was moving at a gentler pace. He pressed her back against the wheel with his hand resting behind her so she was blocked in by his arms.   Her height put them almost at eye to eye.

He bent closer until she thought he would kiss her but he didn’t. “You are certainly tall and strong. You’re beautiful, your strength is _beautiful._ We’re not interested in _soft_ , or whatever you imagine feminine to be. We’re interested in _you_. We are most certainly _not_ going to leave you alone, unless you really want us to. But…from the way you’re watching my lips so _very closely,_ I don’t think you do.”

_“Paska.”_

* * *

 

_From: Britta_

_To: Ink_

_Subj: re: Men._

_Oh, Sweetheart._

_There’s nothing wrong with wanting things from men, even two at the same time. You do what makes you feel happy. Just be safe, you’ve had your birth control shot right? Make sure that those two are…clean.  Just because I want you to have fun, doesn’t mean I don’t want you to be smart and safe._

_Don’t tell Kristoffer I told you, actually, let’s not tell him at all. He’s bound to feel like he needs to give you some fatherly advice.  Take my motherly advice; those are two very good men that are following you around. Make them work for it. You’re worth the effort._

_And please tell me you didn’t sneak out of the hotel in the early morning hours to avoid them. I’m going to have a long conversation with my husband about encouraging things like that._

_Love,_

_Britta_

* * *

 

_From: Ink_

_To: Paper_

_Subj: Thank you._

_For inviting yourself to Helsinki with me, I enjoyed spending time with both of you. I imagine by the time you get this message, I’ll already be on my way to Arcturus._

_Have a fun trip home._

_I am not saying I want you to leave me alone._

_But I’m not giving up a kiss that easily, no matter how inviting the lips involved might be._

_Ink_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pannukkaku (Ink's Breakfast) - http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/86008875326/in-my-mouth-pannukkaku-finnish


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy.

_From: Britta Nolek_

_To: Steven Hackett_

_Subj: re: Ink._

_The girl had her parents ripped from her, and then her aunt raised her in a brothel. It wasn’t one of the good ones either. _

_I would be surprised if Ink wasn’t skittish. She saw way too many things at a very young age. To my knowledge, she’s never been on a real date, she’s never kissed anyone. And no, that isn’t because my husband is an over-protective, grumpy bastard, be sure to tell your own grumpy bastard I said that._

_How is Zaeed?_

_If you and your husband are truly interested, you’re going to have to take your time romancing her._

_I love Ink, couldn’t love her more if I’d given birth to her. I want to see her smile; the kid is too serious, all the time. Make her smile, make her happy._

_If you don’t, I’ll let Kristoff know that you hurt her._

_Britta_

* * *

 

Ink slouched down in her seat. She had spent six long months in Rio as part of her N1 course. It had been exhausting, but she’d finished within the top three of the class of fifty.

A couple of the marines in her class invited her out for drinks, Ink had wanted to say no but Britta kept telling her to _make friends_. It was why she was currently sipping a piss-poor excuse for vodka in a dark bar in the middle of the afternoon. She listened to the chatter swirling around her without contributing to it.

There were two things, two people on her mind lately.

For weeks and weeks, Ink’s thoughts and dreams were all wrapped up in two men. She’d never experienced _arousing_ dreams in the past. It had been more than a little embarrassing to wake up in her bunk in the barracks at the Vila sweating and out of breath.

She played it off as a nightmare, after Akuze, no one argued with her about them. Akuze was a magic word that usually got people to leave her alone. Kristoffer was the one exception; he tended to push harder when she mentioned it, which was why she’d been avoiding him.

 _Hackett and Zaeed were being avoided for entirely different reasons_.

“Is that Admiral Hackett?”

The hushed whisper from one of the marines around the table caught Ink’s attention. _Paska_. She made a lame excuse and started towards the back exit of the bar. The last thing she wanted was to humiliate herself in front of her N1 class _and_ Hackett.

“Ink?” Hackett fell into step beside her as she walked down the pavement away from the bar. “I understand you’ve been having bad dreams.”

Ink hunched her shoulders forward and avoided looking at him. “One dream, one dream and everyone is gossiping about it. I should’ve let the maw eat me.”

“About Akuze?”

“No, not quite.” Ink raised her head when he touched her elbow. “Dreams are private; I’m not sharing it with you.”

Hackett held her gaze and she was drawn to the way his lips slowly lifted up into a confident smile. “How exactly was it private? Were you crying out in fear, or was it perhaps a little more _intimate?_ ”

“I…”

Hackett was suddenly standing in front of her. “I’d really love to kiss you.”

“I’m not going to be good at it, first kisses aren’t generally _amazing_ from…what I’ve heard,” Ink admitted. She couldn’t seem to force her eyes to move from his lips. Her fingers itched to touch him. “You’d be my first real kiss.”

“Which is why I’m going to wait until Zaeed is with us.” He grazed his lips against her eyebrow instead of her lips. “Your first kisses should be savored, together, the three of us.”

Ink took a deep breath after Hackett stepped back. “Why are you here?”

“I’d like to invite you out for dinner,” he said casually.

Ink stopped in the middle of the street to stare at him incredulously. “You came _all_ the way to Rio to ask me out for dinner.”

“Yes.”

She continued walking while shaking her head in disbelief. “Where?”

“Where was I?”

“ _Dinner_. Where did you want to take me?” Ink slid her hands into the back pockets of her cargo pants as they walked.

“My apartment on Arcturus?” Hackett smiled when she shook her head. “I didn’t think so. I understand there’s an amazing seafood place not far from here. We could have dinner then walk down Recreio beach?”

“What about your husband?” Ink paused at the edge of the curb.

“He gets his first date another time.” Hackett gestured towards a skycar parked across the street. “Shall we?”

“His first date?”

“This is _our_ first date together, and you’ll have one with him. And then the three of us will have a _real_ first date as a trio.” He paused when she hesitated by the vehicle. “Ink?”

“Can we go to Arcturus? I have a small apartment there. I’d like…I want to show you something.” Ink didn’t know how to explain. “It’s a family tradition of sorts.”

“An important one?” Hackett lifted his arm to pull up his omni-tool when she nodded. “Zaeed will meet us there.”

“But…”

“If it’s important to you, we should both be there.” He reached out to run his thumb along her bottom lip. “And I can’t wait to kiss you much longer.”

She made him stop by the open market not far from the sky-port so she could pick up fresh blackberries and a jar of honey. Hackett pestered her for a reason but she refused to answer. It wasn’t all that surprising when an Alliance cruiser was waiting for them.

 _Admiral Hackett didn’t need to wait for a public transport_.

It was four hours before Hackett and Zaeed were sitting around the tiny table in her almost equally tiny kitchen. Ink didn’t know what to say to them so she ignored them while she brewed a fresh pot of tea, just like her grandmother had shown her. She dumped honey and blackberries into the mugs then used a spoon to muddle them together. When the tea was ready, she poured it into the cups.

“So…explain?” Hackett took a tentative sip of the tea.

Ink tried to stop her shoulders from hunching forward as she explained that it was something the women in her family did for…their potential partners. Her grandmother had shown it to her when she was little and it stuck in her mind.

“It’s silly.”

Hackett took another sip then stood up. It only took one step for him to stand in front of her. He kept an arm loosely around her waist as he bent forward for a kiss. Ink could taste the slightly hints of tart berry, bitter tea and sweet honey then underneath something different, something masculine.  She leaned into him and instinctively flicked her tongue out for more.

She made a disappointed sound when Hackett pulled back only to find another mouth taking the place of his. Zaeed’s lips covered hers differently. He tasted different…felt different. Her fingers gripped his arm as she enjoyed her second real kiss.

“Paska,” she muttered when her door buzzer went off. She ran her fingers through her hair and eased between the two men to walk over to find a familiar face waiting for her. “Hawk. What a _pleasant_ surprise. How lovely to see you. Please go away now.”

“Now, now, please don’t tell me I came all the way from the farthest colony to see you and that’s all I get.” Hawk grabbed her up in a hug. He was one of the few people she knew that was taller than she was by at least six inches. He set her back down when he spotted the glowering men behind her. “Oh. My. Fucking. God. Did you actually go on a date?”

“Shut up.” Ink punched him in the shoulder. “Jackass. Come in.”

“An Admiral? Really?”

Ink considered smothering her one and only friend. They’d met before her assignment that led her to Akuze. He’d become a good friend. He claimed to use her when his dates bailed on him. Hawk enjoyed the company of many men and women.

She couldn’t blame his conquests.  Hawk was a stunningly good looking. He had dark brown eyes, kept a very close shaved beard and his head bald. It just made the beautifully dark tone of his skin even more prominent. They often teased each other about being the opposite ends of the spectrum.

“Admiral Steven Hackett, Zaeed Massani, meet Lieutenant Hawk Wilson. He’s responsible for inventory and supplies to some of the colonies close to the Terminus Systems.” Ink ignored the assessing look that Hawk was giving the two men. “He was just going.”

“No tea for me?” Hawk grinned at her.

She grabbed him by the shoulders and hefted him towards the door to shove him out of it, right into Kristoffer. “Paskiainen.”

“Watch your language.” Kristoffer raised an eyebrow at her. He’d learned early on that she used Finnish swear words since translators wouldn’t pick up on them. “Which one is that?”

“Son of a bitch.”

“My mother wouldn’t appreciate that remark.” He glanced over her shoulder. “Well, well, well. Admiral Hackett and his bounty hunter husband.”

Ink glanced over at Hawk for support but her _friend_ seemed more interested in the fireworks about to erupt in her living room. “I would like to remind the four of you that this small apartment is mine. I own the furniture, as old and unimpressive as it is. If you break any of it, I will tell Britta and let her deal with you.”

“Ink.”

 _“Kristoffer.”_ She stepped over to stand between him and the two men. Hawk leaned against the wall by the door with an amused grin on his face. _Jackass_. “I’ve been single and lonely since…forever. Let me try and find the same kind of relationship you share with Britta. We’ve barely kissed, and I am not likely to rush into anything. I take months trying to decide what omni-tool to purchase. How much more do you expect me to invest in my first romantic relationship?”

“ _Fine._ ”

“Good. It wasn’t like you actually have a say in my decision.” Ink glanced down at the cooled tea. “Is there a reason you’re here?”

“I wouldn’t want to miss an opportunity to embarrass and aggravate you.” Kristoffer stepped up and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. He glared over at Hackett and Zaeed. “I’ll be keeping my eye on you two. She’s a virgin.”

“ _Kristoffer._ You…I am…oh my god. Out, _everyone_ , out.” Ink shoved him away from her with an embarrassed groan. She corralled all four men out of her living quarters and then collapsed back against the closed door. “ _Paska._ ”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Face Reference: Hawk Wilson - http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/85921689546


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

Zaeed spent an hour tracking Britta down. It was too damn early in the morning to be chasing someone around. He finally found her on her way to the local veteran’s hospital to volunteer. She suggested he could find Ink at a gym not far from her apartment. She also warned him that Ink wasn’t fond of being interrupted prior to her work-out.

The gym was empty except for the tall blonde stretched out on a weight bench. She was lifting an impressive amount. The black shorts and tank-top she wore gave him a first look at some of her tattoos. He had no idea she had so much _ink_.

There was a ship in a bottle peeking out from her shorts on the top of her left thigh. Ink lifted the weights once more; he spotted the word breath on the inside of her left arm. She sat up slowly and turned her back to him. He noticed the large, torn, old-fashioned map on her left shoulder and what appeared to be a tree branch along her right. He couldn’t get a complete view of either tattoo.

“How many bloody tattoos do you have?” Zaeed grinned when she muttered a curse, in Finnish, under her breath. He thought it might be ‘shit’ but he wasn’t sure. “Mornin’, Sweetheart.”

“I have more than you can see.” Ink rested her hand on the metal weight bar. She scowled when he moved closer. “The gym’s supposed to be closed right now.”

Zaeed’s smile faltered a little. He’d assumed she be happy to see him. “Just you and me.”

Ink grabbed a bottle of water that sat under the bench and chugged down a fair amount of it. “I’m here for another hour.”

“I can wait.”

Ink’s eyes narrowed and her fingers tightened on the bottle. “Outside.”

“You want me to wait _outside?”_ Zaeed watched the tall blonde as she started to work through a series of stretches. “Out-fucking-side?”

“Yes.” Ink straightened up to her full height. She seemed uneasy with him intruding on what he was now beginning to think was a private moment for her. “I run for thirty minutes, I stretch then I shower. After…after we can have breakfast.”

“We?”

“Yes.”

Zaeed found himself shoved all the way out of the gym. He stared in confusion at the now sealed door. Ink surprised him at every goddamn turn. Britta had warned him Ink disliked her morning rituals being disturbed. Disliked had clearly been an understatement.

“Bloody woman.”

* * *

 

_From: Hawk Wilson_

_To: Ink Shepard_

_Subj: re: What do I do?_

_You have breakfast with the really sexy man, though massive kudos for kicking his ass out of the gym. I’d pay good credits to see a vid of it._

_Seriously, go forth and eat breakfast with him._

_I’ll expect a full report on the coffee…sorry tea…date._

_Hawk_

* * *

 

Ink walked out of the gym freshly showered in her cargo pants, a blue and white striped button up shirt and a thin dark blue pull-over. She hesitated before continuing over to where Zaeed sat on a nearby bench. She was surprised he’d waited. He glanced up from his omni-tool when he spotted her.

“ _Mornin’_ , Sweetheart.”

Ink wasn’t particularly fond of pet names. “Please, just…call me Ink.”

“Are you always this bloody difficult before breakfast?” Zaeed asked gruffly.

“Yes.”

“All right.” Zaeed got to his feet. “Let’s get some goddamn food, _Ink._ ”

“Hmm. “Ink fell in step beside him. She felt like she owed some sort of explanation. “My mornings…are important.”

“So I’m bloody learning.” Zaeed nudged her arm with his elbow. “Can I buy you coffee?”

“Tea.” She didn’t know how to take the gruff man at her side. He was so different from his husband. “I…go to this bakery not far from here. They make these little tarts for me like they used to have at home, I have them with tea.”

“Can I buy you _tea_?”

“No.” Ink grabbed his arm to keep him from walking off. “Let me buy _you_ coffee and breakfast, to make up for my _rude_ morning rituals.”

“You have breakfast alone every morning?” Zaeed seemed to find that concerning.

“Not _every_ morning,” she shrugged. “If I’m on Arcturus, Kristoffer usually joins me.”

“Not this goddamn morning,” he grumbled under his breath.

Ink smiled at him, a real one, without the normal strain she felt when dealing with men. “Not this time, just the two of us.”

“Steven would like you to have lunch with him, and then we’ll make supper for you later in the evening.” Zaeed followed her into the bakery.

She was surprised when he let her order for him. “Three dates in one day?”

“You leave for your N2 course in a bloody week.” Zaeed slid into one of the three chairs around nearby table and propped his boot against a second chair. “We want as many goddamn kisses as we can get.”

“Only kisses?”

“For now.” He left out the ‘until you’re ready’ she knew was at the end of his statement.

* * *

 

_From: Ink Shepard_

_To: Hawk Wilson_

_Subj: re: breakfast._

_It was fun._

_He kissed me._

_Why do two men like Massani and Hackett want someone like me?_

_Ink_

* * *

 

Lunch didn’t go as well as breakfast. Hackett had gotten stuck at his desk waiting for a vid-conference so he invited Ink to share a simple lunch with him at his office. She was _snooping_ around his office at the various artwork and photos when she spotted a framed photo of Hackett, Zaeed and a slender woman who could only have been their first wife. She was stunningly beautiful, delicate and slender.

“Is this…” Ink had to force her shoulders back. She shook her head as she realized the woman was everything Ink could _never_ be. “She’s very beautiful.”

“Ink?”

“I can’t compete with a woman like her, particularly with her memory. I know from experience that memories make everyone seem better…more amazing.” Ink rubbed absently at the tattoo under her arm. “I’ve never had my heart broken by a man. I don’t know if I can risk so much pain the first time around.”

“ _Wait._ Ink. Damn it.” Hackett’s voice followed her out of his office, but a beep from his vid-comm kept him from following her.”

Wandering aimlessly for an hour, Ink finally found her way to the training center where Kristoffer spent his working hours. He took one look at her and dismissed the unit he was training. They were sharing the packed lunch Britta had sent with him moments later while sitting on stacked work-out mats.

“You haven’t done this in a long time.” Kristoffer offered her half of the raspberry crumble bar.

“Did you know Hackett and Massani’s wife?” Ink asked quietly.

“Yes.” He brushed the crumbs from his shirt. “She was a beautiful woman…graceful. She was…”

“Nothing like me.” Ink finished for him. She shrugged her shoulders and finished the bar in one bite. “Why would they want me?”

“Ink,” Kristoffer groaned. “Please don’t make me help those bastards.”

“Help _me_.” She didn’t like feeling so out of her depth. “I have _no_ …I’m just me.”

“You are not _just_ any-damn-thing. You’re beautiful, strong, and intelligent. You also hit harder than I do which is even more impressive.” Kristoffer spoke in his ‘don’t argue with me voice’. “They’d be damn lucky to have you.”

“How much did that hurt?” Ink figured if she didn’t mention the tears in her eyes, he wouldn’t either.

“Plenty.” He threw a napkin at her. “Let’s not make a habit of this, eh? Now if you want me to beat either of them up, I’m all in.”

“ _Kristoffer.”_

“What? I’m a father.” He tossed her a bottle of water. “Look, I’m not thrilled with your choice, but they are _good_ men. Why not give them a chance?”

“I might get hurt.”

“Well yes, of course you might and likely will, I’ll tell you a secret that I’ve learned in my years of marriage to Britta.” He reached over to squeeze her hand. “It’s what happens after you hurt that is usually the best part of a relationship.”

* * *

 

_From: Ink Shepard_

_To: Steven Hackett_

_Subj: Lunch._

_I’m sorry for leaving like I did._

_Can we still have dinner?_

_Ink_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Face Reference: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/86130903881/smoothllie-grace-park-a-december-morning-with
> 
> Ink's Outfit: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/86121649049
> 
> Ink's Tattoos:  
> http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/85326839326  
> http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/85324919151/chiara-effe-convallaria-majalis-on-flickr  
> http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/85324649336  
> http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/85324425961  
> http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/86305225181


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a two chapter kind of day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

The smell of korvapuusti caught Ink’s attention when Zaeed ushered her into the living room of the apartment. It was fresh baked and her mouth starting watering for the sweet, cinnamon baked rolls almost immediately. She hadn’t had home-baked korvapuusti in…since her parents died.

A beautiful wooden dining table was already set with glasses of wine poured. Ink glanced up at Zaeed who shrugged indifferently as if the two men hadn’t gone to extra effort. She’d watched Kristoffer enough to know it wasn’t likely they’d gotten candles, flowers and cooked a dish native to _her_ country without serious thought and energy going into it. They clearly wanted to make an impression.

Hackett stepped out of the kitchen with two bowls while Zaeed followed with a third and a bottle of wine. “We weren’t sure you’d give us a chance, so we wanted to make the most of this dinner.”

Ink started to thank them when she recognized the dish they’d made. _Karjalanpaistia._ “How did you know?”

“Britta.” Zaeed grinned at her. He gestured toward a chair that would put her at the head of the table with the two men on either side of her. “We take every bloody advantage we can find.”

“You picked wisely then.” Ink reached into the bowl to pick up a small piece of the stewed beef to pop into her mouth. It was… _everything_ she remembered from childhood. The soft, delicious meat had been cooked down to perfection that melted in her mouth. “ _Very wisely_.”

“Slide your chair a little closer; I’ve got no goddamn problem feeding you a piece of meat at a time.” Zaeed reached his hand toward her portion of stew. He pulled it back when she smacked him on the knuckle with her spoon. “See if I make that offer again.”

“That wasn’t an _offer_. There was no indication of a _question_ in your demand.” Ink set her spoon down and picked up another piece of meat to feed herself with her fingers for the sole purposes of annoying the man. She wasn’t a tease, had never had the opportunity to be one. She just…liked the irritated growl he gave. She turned to the man on the other side of her. “This isn’t Britta’s recipe.”

“No.” Hackett had a disarming smile that he knew how to use. “Our first attempt didn’t go so well, I decided to search for another recipe which was much better.”

“You made two pots of stew in a day?” Ink asked dubiously.

“No.” He took a sip of wine before clarifying, “we made the first one two weeks ago, the second one a few days after.”

“Why?”

“Despite what you seem to think, you are completely and utterly worth the effort to do it _right._ ” Hackett frowned when he realized she wasn’t drinking the wine. “Not a fan?”

“I…don’t care much for wine.” She focused on _using the spoon_ to get another bite of the flavorful food. She finished chewing before answering his unspoken question. “I prefer water or Koskenkorva Viina.”

“Koskenkorva Viina?”

“Vodka. Though none of that week shit the bartenders on Arcturus seem to think is vodka.” Ink was internally grateful when Hackett switched out her wine for water. She wasn’t fond of wine at all. “My father use to keep a flask of it in his pocket. He’d sip from it when he thought my mother wasn’t looking.”

The rest of the meal went smoothly with light conversation that flowed between the three of them. Ink was half-way through the baked, spiced dessert when she decided enough was enough. She had questions for them, and she wanted answers before her interest and desire for the two men grew any further. She had never been fond of impulsive decisions; she liked finding all the answers before making any moves.

Without going into details that would have been…a little much, the two men told her about their first wife and her death. They assuaged her fears that they expected her to be some…surrogate for their lost love. They’d spent a long time apart after her death, and a long time together without her for that very reason.

“Why me?” Ink insisted for what felt like the millionth time. She believed they were ready to move on. She just didn’t understand why… _her._ “Give me an answer I can believe.”

“What’s paper without ink?” Hackett answered after looking over at his husband. “It’s empty, a blank slate with so much potential. We just want to see what we can create.”

“He’s smooth.” Ink saluted him with her glass of vodka. She smiled hesitantly at the two of them. “It won’t be easy. And I’m likely to be very bad at this relationship thing, I’ve got no experience and living in a brothel didn’t provide the best examples.”

“We’re making something new.” Hackett reached out to take Zaeed’s hand. “We just want you to be open to the idea.”

“Screw that. I want more goddamn kissing.” Zaeed smirked at her.

“I don’t look like her.” Ink ignored his smile to focus on the last question. “ _At all.”_

“We wanted you before we knew what you looked like.” Zaeed gestured vaguely towards her body. “That’s just a goddamn perk in my opinion.”

Hackett rolled his eyes at his husband. “Beauty comes in an endless variety. Why would we just appreciate _one_ version?”

* * *

 

_From: Hawk Wilson_

_To: Ink Shepard_

_Subj: WELL???_

_Come on, spill, how did dinner go? I’ve been waiting patiently all damn evening for you to message me. I know you didn’t spend the night._

_So how the hell did it go?_

_I will bang on your door at three in the morning. I’ve done it before._

_Hawk_

* * *

 

_From: Ink Shepard_

_To: Hawk Wilson_

_Subj: Lunatic._

_It went…well._

_I’ve decide to give them a chance._

_Ink_

* * *

 

_From: Hawk Wilson_

_To: Ink Shepard_

_Subj: re: It went well._

_That’s all I get?_

_That’s it?_

_You are so fired as my friend._

_Hawk_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> References:
> 
> Hackett/Zaeed's apartment: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/86308324921
> 
> Food: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/86308149596
> 
> http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/86307157866/kangaskasa-i-made-some-korvapuusti-close-to


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

_From: Hawk Wilson_

_To: Ink Shepard_

_Subj: Seriously?_

_You left for Luna for your N2 training at 0300. Did it never occur to you that Hackett and Massani might want to say goodbye?_

_I swear I’m going to write you a relationship how to guide._

_Rule one; don’t bolt the first chance you get._

_Rule two; kissing is fun._

_Rule three; stop being such a complete and utter idiot._

_Hawk_

* * *

 

_From: Ink Shepard_

_To: Hawk Wilson_

_Subj: re: Seriously?_

_You and Britta should get together on your mocking attempts to ‘help.’_

_It’s fine._

_Ink_

* * *

 

Hackett and Zaeed were having breakfast at six in the morning when someone started banging on the front door. Zaeed opened it, Hackett watched in the hope that it might be Ink. Kristoffer Nolek stormed into the living room instead without so much as a hello. Hackett felt immediately on guard.

“What the bloody hell do you want?” Zaeed apparently felt the same apprehension.

“What my husband means is good morning.” Hackett didn’t think it would be wise to antagonize Kristoffer. He didn’t need Ink’s foster father to like them, but actively encouraging his dislike wouldn’t help their cause either. “Is there something you needed?”

“Yes, I want you to listen to me very carefully.” Kristoffer watched Zaeed as he walked over to stand beside his husband. “I took Ink in when she was sixteen. She had no self-esteem. She still doesn’t, not really, not with regards to things other than her physical abilities. Her bitch of an aunt spent every moment of every day tearing her down. So you better spend every fucking minute lifting her up.”

“Kristoffer…”

“You have two jobs as far as I’m concerned. Make Ink happy, and treat her right.” Kristoffer looked the two men up and down. “Do that and you might not have to worry about finding me waiting in a dark alley with a rifle.”

“Really, Kristoffer, really?” Hackett couldn’t believe the man. “I was under the impression we were friends.”

“I’m deadly serious. I don’t give a damn about my career or our friendship if you hurt her. You keep her happy.” Kristoffer’s eyes hardened. He stormed out of the room without bothering to wait for a reply.

“Well, he certainly told us.” Hackett smiled over at his laughing husband. “Think we should go make Ink happy now?”

“Good bloody idea.” Zaeed dragged him over into a kiss. His fingers gripped Hackett’s shoulders tightly. He pulled back so his lips hovered over Hackett’s. “We’ll have to steal a few more goddamn kisses from her before she runs off again.”

* * *

 

_From: Steven Hackett_

_To: Ink Shepard_

_Subj: Lunch._

_We were going to invite you to lunch but discovered you’d already left for Luna._

_Something we said? Is this going to become a thing?_

_Steven_

* * *

 

_From: Ink Shepard_

_To: Steven Hackett_

_Subj: re: Lunch._

_I like traveling early in the morning._

_Ink_

* * *

 

_From: Steven Hackett_

_To: Ink Shepard_

_Subj: re: Lunch._

_‘You like traveling early in the morning.’_

_Good to know. Next time we’ll be sure to wake up at 0300 to have breakfast with you before you leave._

_The N2 course is a short one, two months I believe? I’ll assume that you’ll pass with flying colors. You’ve never failed at anything the Alliance has thrown at you. You’d have two weeks between N2 and N3._

_Would you care to take a week off?_

_Zaeed is very fond of a fishing spot on South Island, New Zealand. We’re booking out a lodge. It’s a beautiful time of year there._

_Come with us._

_Please?_

_Steven_

_P.S. We’ll leave early in the morning._

* * *

 

_From: Ink Shepard_

_To: Steven Hackett_

_Subj: re: Fishing._

_I would enjoy that very much._

_Thank you._

_Ink_

* * *

 

_From: Ink Shepard_

_To: Hawk Wilson_

_Subj: Oh god._

_Every time I message them I sound like I’m this stupidly overly polite weirdo._

_Why am I doing this?_

_Ink_

* * *

 

_From: Hawk Wilson_

_To: Ink Shepard_

_Subj: re: Oh god._

_You are a stupidly overly polite weirdo. You’ve always been like that._

_You’re doing it because you think they’re good kissers._

_Focus on kissing._

_Hawk_


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

Hackett sat on a tree stump watching Zaeed and Ink fly-fishing from the rocky shore. They’d waded out a little bit into the water but not far. His eyes mostly focused on the tall blonde who had been incredibly skittish since arriving. She had been on edge since arriving on South Island the day before. It was as if she thought the two men had massive expectations for the week.

It was a mystery Hackett had been turning over in his mind all morning. Fishing was more Zaeed’s thing than he’s own. He had opted to enjoy the fresh air from the dry shore. It was nice to see Ink in her element, at least for the moment.

If they had been trying, Hackett didn’t think they could’ve found someone that was so very different from Mariko, their first wife. Mariko had been very experienced and aggressive in the bedroom. It had always amused Hackett give how quiet and unassuming she’d been outside of sex. The two men had enjoyed it immensely.

Ink wasn’t brusque in conversation. She didn’t seem to enjoy flirtatious games. Hackett got the feeling most of it went over her head. Subtlety missed the mark with her. So the subtle seduction he and Zaeed had started had been ignored by her, not on purpose, he thought she just hadn’t noticed.

Her skittishness was likely a result of lack of experience. Hackett wondered just how much she’d been exposed to by her aunt. Ink didn’t like talking about her childhood not about specifics. Britta hadn’t been able to provide any insight on that either.

_They needed a different plan._

_A better plan._

It was clear Ink enjoyed kissing… _quite a lot._ Hackett had no intention of pushing her past the point she was comfortable.   The trouble was she didn’t really seem to have any idea where her own boundaries were. They were going to have to have a lot of patience while she figured it out for herself.

_It was going to be a hell of a lot of fun._

Ink made her way out of the water an hour later with a large fish that she’d caught. She smiled over at Zaeed who was still trying to catch his first one of the day. She set the fish on the counter where they’d been prepping what they caught for a late lunch.

“Do we make you uncomfortable?” Hackett asked casually once she had finished filleting the fish and putting into the outdoor cooler by the back of their cabin.

“Yes.” Ink rinsed her knife in the stream then dried it off. She closed her knife and shoved it into her pocket. She wandered over to sit on a large rock near Hackett. “Hawk thinks I’m hopeless.”

“Why?”

“You two are trying very hard at being seductive.” Ink’s smile was slightly self-deprecating. “And I have no idea how to…reciprocate…or respond.”

“Did Hawk have any helpful suggestions?” Hackett reached out a hand toward her. He was pleasantly surprised when she took it and let him ease her over until she was standing between his legs. “Did he have any _unhelpful_ suggestions?”

“He _always_ has unhelpful suggestions.” Her laughter faltered when Hackett tugged her forward the last few steps that allowed him finally to rest his head against her. He wound his arm around her waist to keep her from making an excuse to bolt. “He…told me to focus on kissing.”

Hackett liked the slight catch in her breath when she mentioned kissing. He was holding himself as still as possible while resisting the urge to let his hands wander along her back. Ink had to be sure she was ready before he’d allow himself to go much further than kisses.

“Do you plan on fishing at all?” Ink clearly wanted to change the subject but still stayed beside him. She hesitantly lifted her arms up and rested them on his shoulders.

“Oh, I’m fishing. I’ve been fishing for a while now, just waiting for the fish to realize it.” Hackett tilted his head back to smile up at her.

“Not sure how I feel about being compared to a scaly, smelling thing.” Ink pressed her lips together for a moment before finally bursting out laughing. “Is this where you dangle your worm?”

“Why Inkera Shepard, did you just make a dirty joke?”

“ _Paska._ ” She scowled down at him then leaned closer.

He held his breath when Ink grazed her lips against his. Her fingers gripped the light fabric of the shirt he wore. His cock was ready and highly interested when her tongue flicked out against his mouth. He let her explore at her slow pace even though it was like exquisite torture when she finally pulled back.

“Where’s my goddamn kiss?” Zaeed yelled from the river.

“Idiootti,” she muttered.

“I don’t think we need a translator for that word.” Hackett winked at her. He twisted her around and pushed her toward Zaeed. “Give him a kiss.”

“Why?”

“He’ll grumble all damn night if you don’t.” Hackett pushed a little harder to move her forward.

He wasn’t sure if she’d do it. To his surprise, Ink did stride purposefully over to where Zaeed still stood in the middle of the river. She grabbed the front of his shirt to drag him forward into a kiss. Hackett thought she muttered, ‘idiotti’ again when Zaeed whispered something to her.

“That’s going to become a goddamn thing, isn’t it?” Zaeed growled when she called him an idiot for a third time.

“I think it’s very fitting,” Hackett shrugged.

“Bastard.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Place Reference: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/86408854076/currins-owen-river-lodge-south-island-new


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

It was two o’clock in the morning. Ink was hiding under the blanket in one of the bedrooms in the lodge. Which was stupid since she was the only person in the room, she was under there because her embarrassment level had hit a billion when she started looking up ‘how-to’ guides for sex on the extra-net. She’d figured it would be better than asking Hawk who would use the question to humiliate her at every possible moment.

_Three shots of vodka._

That’s what it had taken for her to open the vid of step by step instructions for oral sex. Ink canted her head to the side until she was almost looking at the vid upside down. _How the hell did that even…oh…paska._ She grabbed the bottle of vodka to pour another shot. She was definitely going to need more liquid courage.

She moved on to more adventurous vids of threesomes.

_Oh for…how…paska._

Ink had drunk enough that even with her more _hearty_ Finnish blood the room was starting to spin a little. It gave her the edge she needed to get to her feet and storm across out of the room, across the hall and into the men’s room without bothering to knock. They both shot up in bed as she flipped the light on.

“Ink?”

“How the hell do people do this?” Ink brought up her omni-tool to show one of the vids. “How is...you’re naked.”

“Did you find the vodka, Sweetheart?” Zaeed didn’t appear to have the issues with nudity that Ink did. He didn’t bother pulling up the blanket that had fallen off of him. “Is it possible that you were getting drunk off your ass and looking at porn?”

“Instructional material.” Ink was thankful she’d muted the sound. “It’s a little more in-depth than I thought it would be.”

“It _usually_ is.” Zaeed smirked at her.

“I’m not drunk.” She chose to ignore the double meaning of his words.

“Yet.”

Ink waved her arm around making the vid on her omni-tool blur. “How does this work?”

“I…” Zaeed glanced back at Hackett. “You goddamn explain while I make some coffee.”

“Coffee?” Ink watched him walk past with a frown. She tried, unsuccessfully, to keep her eyes from drifting all the way down his body. “Stop walking so slowly.”

“Stop looking at my goddamn cock.” He stroked himself once then headed out of the room.

“Idiootti.” Ink had never appreciated a man’s ass before, drunk or sober. She finally turned back around to find Hackett smiling at her. “Stop it.”

“He’s making coffee because we want you to be _very,_ very sober when we demonstrate _how_ that works.” He pointed to the vid.

Ink shut the omni-tool down. She was suddenly wishing she’d pulled on a pair of jeans to go with the t-shirt and boxers she usually slept in. “A demonstration?”

“Yes.” He pointed to the comfortable looking couch that ran along the wall across from the bed. “You can sit there in complete safety and watch us.”

“Watch…” Ink blinked at him a few times. “I might need the vodka again.”

“Coffee, no more vodka tonight.” Hackett shoved the blanket to the foot of the bed and Ink was suddenly trying to look anywhere but at _him_. “No more vodka because if you want to join in, we want you _sober_ for it.”

Ink sank down on the couch with a groan. “The how-to guide doesn’t cover where to look.”

“The how-to guide?” Hackett sounded like he was struggling not to laugh. “Ink…”

“Well…I can’t ask Kristoffer can I? Hawk would just laugh at me. Britta…” Ink threw her hands up in the air. “I lived in a brothel. I spent most of the time looking at the floor and staying in my room.”

“I’ll make it very simple for you. You can look at any part of my body that you want. It won’t bother me one little bit.” Hackett sat on the edge of the bed and waited until she finally lifted her head up. “There’s no _wrong_ way to do this.”

“No, no I think there are plenty of wrong ways.” She sat cross-legged on the couch and stretched the hem of her t-shirt until it covered her legs. “The how-to guide was very helpful.”

“Was it?” Zaeed stepped back into the room and handed her a mug of coffee. “How goddamn helpful could the damn thing be?”

Ink shrugged as she stared down at the coffee. She was starting to regret barging in on them. She peered over the rim of her mug to watch Hackett who grabbed Zaeed by the wrist to drag him down on the bed beside him.

_The how-to guide didn’t mentioning anything about her heart racing and her breathing starting to act all weird._

Leaning forward in her seat, Ink rested her elbows on her t-shirt covered knees. Her fingers held on to the mug tightly. She kept her eyes on the steam rising from the coffee and _not_ on the men making _very interesting_ sounds on the bed in front of her. The stupid vids had exaggerated the sounds, but the _real_ ones were doing things to her body that hadn’t happened earlier.

With another curse on her tongue, Ink slowly brought her gaze up until she could see what exactly they were doing. The oral sex guide had _definitely_ under-estimated the impact of…all of it.   This was better, much better. Hackett’s smile widened when she finally lifted her eyes up to his face.

Sitting back on the bed, Hackett had one hand on top of Zaeed’s head. He was using it to control the man’s movements up and down on his…on him. Ink shifted forward on the couch. Her feet eventually hit the floor when she moved up so much she was perched on the edge of the seat.

She didn’t know what to do, but she really wanted to do something other than hold a hot cup of coffee. Hackett lifted his free hand to beckon her closer. Her feet refused to listen. She forced herself to her feet and set the coffee on the nearby dresser.

“You don’t have to touch. Just…sit.” Hackett gestured to the empty spot on the bed beside him.

She sat a little further away from him than intended. Zaeed smirked around the shaft in his mouth as she joined them. He was using one hand for leverage on the bed. His other hand reached out to casually stroke the top of her foot and the skin around her ankle with one finger. It was so light that she relaxed into it after tensing for a brief moment.

Watching him suck on his husband’s cock was mesmerizing; Ink barely even noticed when Hackett brought his own hand up to rest on the back of her neck. His fingers massaged her while she remained focused on the _live_ demonstration.

“You can touch…if you want to.” Hackett spoke casually after she’d lifted her hand and dropped back down to her side for the fourth time. “Anywhere you like, on him…or me, on both of us.”

“I…paska.” Ink’s mouth went dry and she had to clear her throat a few times. “I don’t know…I think…”

* * *

 

_From: Hawk Wilson_

_To: Ink Shepard_

_Subj: re: Oh god._

_You left the room._

_You left the room._

_You actually left the room._

_You had two completely naked and incredibly attractive men inviting you to touch them wherever and however you wanted. That’s a fucking wet dream, and you left the room._

_I’m going to need to repeat that about a hundred times before I believe it._

_Look…mocking aside…it’s not the end of the world. If they’ve been patient with you so far, I doubt this is going to change anything._

_Next time though, stay in the damn room._

_Hawk_

* * *

 

_From: Ink Shepard_

_To: Hawk Wilson_

_Subj: re: Oh god._

_How is any of that helpful?_

_Ink_

* * *

_From: Hawk Wilson_

_To: Ink Shepard_

_Subj: re: Oh god._

_It is not my job to help the completely and utterly inept._

_Stay in the damn room, touch the naked bodies._

_That’s all the help you need._

_Hawk_

* * *

 

Hackett was in the small kitchenette attached to their cabin in the lodge with Zaeed the next morning. Neither of them were certain if Ink would make an appearance. They’d gotten completely dressed before exiting their room. He hadn’t been _all_ that surprised when things became a little much for her. He _was_ surprised when she strode into the kitchen still clad in just a t-shirt and boxers.

“Mornin’ sweetheart.” Zaeed tipped his coffee cup at her. “Sleep well?”

“Idiootti,” she grumbled.

“I was just about to…” Hackett didn’t get a chance to mention the breakfast he’d planned on making. Ink stalked towards him. She was tall enough that she didn’t have to lean up to get her lips against his. Her hands held the counter behind him, blocking him in. She satisfied her desire to kiss him then moved over to do the same to Zaeed. “Well…that’s certainly more interesting than breakfast.”

“ _Paska._ ” She was once again gone before they could respond.

“Next bloody time, I’m grabbing her before she can do that.” Zaeed grinned at his husband.

“It’s progress.” Hackett grabbed Zaeed’s t-shirt to drag him closer, close enough that his hard cock dragged against his husband’s. “Progress is good.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a short chapter, I know, but...I needed a gateway to the next one lol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

_From: Hawk Wilson_

_To: Ink Shepard_

_Subj: re: Help?_

_Step One: Stop hiding in the bedroom._

_Step Two: Stop hiding in the bedroom._

_Step Three: Make lunch for them; make that raw fish dish and the creamy soup, then that porridge with figs and that homemade bread. You made that all for me and it was amazing._

_Step Four: Stop worrying about what to do, and let them seduce you._

_You’ll thank me later._

_Hawk_

* * *

 

When Ink finally stopped hiding, she found herself alone in the lodge. Hackett and Zaeed were visible through the large picture windows. She could see them fishing in the nearby river. A quick glance at the clock told her she had an hour or maybe two before they headed in for lunch.

Ink started getting everything together for the creamy fish soup. It needed to simmer for at least forty minutes before she blended it down. It was a dish her mother and grandmother made for her many times. She had her own version of it with more spices and cream. She happily found the kitchen fully stocked for as small as it was.

_Time to do something she actually knew how to do._

With the soup ingredients in a pot on the stove, Ink moved on to the potato flat bread. She put it all together and got it into the oven. The Mannapuuro was next. Once prepared, she could keep it in the fridge until they were ready for dessert. She moved on to the raw fish that would need to soak in her favorite vinegar and lemon mixture for a while.

Since everything was well on its way, Ink dashed back to her room to shower quickly. She changed into a fitted pair of navy blue trousers along a green and brown thin striped blouse. She was about to slid into her shoes when she remembered the bread. She left her hair down as she ran to the kitchen to pull it out just in time.

“Ink?”

It was a good ten minutes later that Hackett’s voice interrupted her. Ink looked up from where she was plating the food to find he was freshly showered. He’d changed out of the fishing gear she’d seen him in earlier into jeans and a slate grey polo shirt. He walked over to snitch a piece of the fish from the platter on the table.

“It’s a _family_ recipe _.”_ Ink carried the soup bowls over to the table and set them down. “You _will_ like it. I hope.”

“Of course.” He smiled at her demand. “Zaeed will join us shortly.”

“Steven.” Ink took his hand when he walked by toward the kitchen. “I have no clue how to say or do any of the things I want. I’m not even sure I know all of my wants.”

“But?”

“I will _not_ hide in the bedroom for the rest of my life.” Ink forced her shoulders back and lifted her chin. They were close enough her nose brushed against his cheek. “I want…”

“What do you want, Sweetheart?” Zaeed was behind her suddenly. He grinned when she glared at the pet name. His smile widened when she muttered ‘idiootti’ at him. “Ink?”

“I made lunch.” Ink pointed around him to the table.

“Not the bloody answer I was looking for.” Zaeed ran his hands along her arms. “What do you bloody want?”

Ink glanced down at the plate of food in her hands. “I want…what my parents had…what my grandparents had.”

“Fish?” He teased.

“Love. _Happiness_. A relationship.” Ink managed to keep her voice steady. “I want this to be a start.”

“It’s a good _goddamn_ start.” Zaeed shifted his hands from her arms to wind his own around her back.

“We should eat now.” Ink ducked around him to set the platter in her hands on the table. She smiled over her shoulder at the two men. “Maybe it’s time to fill in all the blank pages of paper.”

“Let’s start one at a time.” Hackett slid his fingers through her hair and pressed his lips against hers. “One at a time.”

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

Standing at the large picture window in the living room, Hackett watched Ink who was outside obsessively cleaning and filleting all of the fish the two men had caught earlier. He could hear her muttering to herself in Finnish. It was too muffled for his translator to pick up. Her careful and precise movements with her knife belied the tension he could see in her shoulders and face.

“She’s so goddamn wired up she’s going to talk herself out of it before we even take off our bloody shirts.” Zaeed stepped up behind Hackett to rest his chin on top of his husband’s shoulder. “Go and fucking charm her.”

“Why me?”

“I’m a goddamn kiss away from moving well beyond just kissing.” Zaeed’s hands gripped Hackett on his sides to press him back. Hackett could feel the hard length that his husband rubbed against his ass. “I want her in our bed between us.”

“Impatient bastard.” Hackett twisted around and pushed Zaeed until they were out of view of the window. He backed him against the wall. They exchanged a hard kiss that did nothing to soften either of their _problems._ “I’ll go talk to her.”

Zaeed’s hand reached down to grab Hackett’s cock through his jeans. “Who’s the impatient bastard?”

“Go take a cold shower.” Hackett pointed Zaeed in the direction of the nearest shower. He adjusted his own jeans then walked outside.

“If you were trying to hide your kissing, you failed.” Ink used her knife to point to the large mirror over the fire place that was easily visible through the windows. She would’ve had a perfect view of the two of them. “I might not have _any_ experience, but I’m not going to run when I see you kissing.”

“Good to know.” Hackett watched her rinse her knife off then her hands. “Done?”

Ink finished drying her knife off and closed it. She set it next to the platter of fish filets. “I think we’ve fished enough.”

“Have we?”

She stared down at her clothes. “I think I need to shower.”

Hackett watched her as she looked from the fish to her hands to him then back to the fish again. “Ink?”

“I noticed the shower in your room is rather large.” Ink forced her shoulders back. Hackett had noticed she tended to do that frequently. “I have trouble reaching my back.”

Hackett slowly moved towards her with a steady smile on his face. He let his hands rest lightly on her hips to keep her from moving away. “The shower is certainly large enough for three people.”

“Yes.”

Deciding it was best to move things along before Ink talked herself out of it, Hackett took her by the hand to lead her into the lodge. He went straight to their room where Zaeed was already in the shower. The shower stall took up at least half of the bathroom with glass walls that allowed his husband to clearly see the _intruders_.  

The two men exchanged a look which was enough to let Hackett know Zaeed was on board with the slow seduction of _their_ Ink.   She was muttering again in Finnish. He thought she might be complained about smelling like fish the first damn time.

“Easily solved, Ink.” Hackett used his hold on her hand to ease her closer.

Her eyes kept straying over to the naked man in the shower. Hackett used the distraction to casually unbutton her shirt and then let it slide of off her shoulders. She didn’t even seem to notice when he moved on to her jeans. He glanced over his shoulder to find Zaeed stroking himself.

_No wonder Ink was preoccupied._

“Paska.”

Hackett glanced up to meet her icy blue eyes filled with desire and a conflicting emotion. He stood up once he’d removed her jeans and simple briefs. His fingers glided along the outside of her legs up her side to rest just on the sides of her breasts. She seemed to suddenly realize she was naked.

“We can stop.” Hackett let his thumbs caress the curve of her breasts gently. “Though…Zaeed and I would very much like to get you into the shower…and then into you.”

“ _Paska._ ”

He moved one of his hands up to cup her chin and captured her lips with his. He guided her closer so his knee pushed between her legs. He brought it up so the coarse denim rubbed directly against her.   Ink hesitated briefly then her legs spread further apart. His tongue delved into her mouth while she tentatively rode his thigh.

“I…” Ink took a step away from him. She ran her fingers along her lips.   Her eyes flickered between the two men. Her gaze was sharp when it finally met Hackett’s. “I’m not ready for this…but I would like to shower with you both.”

It was a long, sensual shower initially frustrated both Hackett and Zaeed more than it satisfied them. Ink touched them with hesitancy that slowly disappeared as they gave her the freedom to explore. Hackett wanted her to feel comfortable with them. He wanted her to understand she had complete control of everything they did.

He was surprised when she not only followed her curiosity to bringing both he and Zaeed to climax, but allowed them to return the favor with their fingers on her. He was not surprised when they woke up the next morning to find her gone.

Ink’s first instinct always seemed to involve running. If she needed space for whatever reason, she didn’t apparently understand they’d give it if asked. She bolted from the lodge while they were sleeping instead.

* * *

 

_From: Kristoffer_

_To: Britta_

_Subj: re: Ink._

_I am not having the sex talk with Ink. I understand how her aunt screwed her up, but why can’t you have this conversation with her?_

_I’d give my life for Ink. I somehow don’t think either of us would survive the humiliation of having to have that particular conversation._

_I vote you do it._

_Kristoffer_

* * *

 

_From: Britta_

_To: Kristoffer_

_Subj: re: Ink._

_It’s very sweet how you think you have a say in this._

_I have already had ‘the sex talk’ with Ink. She understands the mechanics. The trouble is Ink doesn’t have many, if any, good experiences with how men behave around women. She’s terrified of it, and it’s making her run._

_Your job, husband, is to get her to stop running away from them._

_I love you very much, but you still have to have a chat with her._

_Britta_

* * *

 

Ink was running in the gym on Arcturus when Kristoffer finally caught up to her. It was six months _after_ he was supposed to talk to her. She’d been sequestered out of reach for her N3 course. She passed at the top of the class which didn’t surprise him any. He stood by the door watching her go for a good thirty minutes on the treadmill.

“Ink.”

She tapped the button to slow the machine down to allow her to cool off without getting a cramp. “It’s a little early for breakfast.”

“I have _orders_.”

Ink turned her gaze to the vid on the treadmill while she slowly went from a run to a jog to a walk. Kristoffer sat on a nearby weight bench to wait her out. He’d tried to talk Britta out of her idea but his wife was nothing if not stubborn. She would pay for it later.

“What are you grinning about?” Ink scowled at him.

“Nothing.”

“Paska.” Ink grabbed her water bottle and towel then moved over to the mat to stretch out her legs. “What does Britta think we need to talk about?”

“Sex.”

“No.”

“That’s what I said.”

“ _Kristoffer.”_ Ink threw the bottle at his head. “Why do we need to talk about sex?”

“My wife has temporarily lost her ability to think clearly. She believes you are terrified of having sex because you think all men will treat you like the sick bastards you saw as a kid.” Kristoffer leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. He looked thoughtful over at Ink who was trying very hard to contrite on cooling down. “Now, personally, I’d love it if you remained celibate forever or at least until I die. But if that option is off the table, I think you should know Steve and Zaeed are in this for the long haul. If they weren’t, they would’ve picked someone who was easier to get into bed.”

“ _Kristoffer.”_

“Sex talk over?”

“I’m telling Britta that you told me to stay celibate.” Ink got to her feet to walk towards the women’s locker room. “Coffee when I’m done?”

“Of course.”

* * *

 

_From: Ink Shepard_

_To: Steven Hackett; Zaeed Massani_

_Subj: Dinner._

_Are you both on the Citadel? Britta thought you were._

_I’d like to invite you to my apartment for dinner tomorrow night._

_Ink_

* * *

 

The following evening, Hackett and Zaeed arrived promptly at seven. Ink had the table set and a simple pasta dish prepared. She took a look at the two men both dressed in jeans and different colored t-shirts and decided she was done waiting.   Her mind had been filled with thoughts of their hands on her body…her hands on their bodies.

“Sweetheart?” Zaeed sounded concerned as the two men moved across the room toward where she still stood staring at them speechless. “Do you need something? What the bloody hell happened?”

Ink grabbed the pasta from the table and went straight into the kitchen with it. She set the baking dish back into the oven and set it on warm. She grabbed a bottle of her favorite vodka to pour herself a shot. The two men watched in concern as she drank the shot down in one gulp. She breathed through the slight burn in her throat then turned serious blue eyes in their direction.

“Ink?”

Walking forward with a confidence that wasn’t completely real, Ink grabbed their hands to lead them down the hall into her bedroom. She was thankful for her height for once. It meant she’d gotten a larger bed than originally came with the small apartment. She dropped their hands and reached up to push the spaghetti strap sleeves of her dress off of her shoulders. It fell to the ground in a pile at her feet.

Hackett was the first of the two men to move. He wound his arm around her naked waist to guide her over until she stood between them. “Are you sure you’re ready?”

“Definitely.”

“You can say…”

Ink reached up to cover his mouth with is hand. “I know that I can say stop at any moment and you will.”

“We’ve been waiting a long goddamn time for this.” Zaeed’s fingers trailed up her spine casually. He finally placed his hand around the top of her right shoulder to shift her forward to the bed.

They were incredibly gently with her. Ink had never thought of herself as delicate, or beautiful or feminine. She might never be the first, but they made her feel beautiful. She lost track of time as they methodically covered every inch of her skin in light touches and soft kisses.

It wasn’t until Ink grabbed at Hackett’s wrist that they finally did more than tease her. She faded in and out of bliss while he touched places no one had been. Zaeed stayed up closer to her. His tongue played with hers and his fingers feathered across her breasts.

The two men were thorough in their exploration of her body and in stretching her. Hackett brought her to her first orgasm with his mouth, then a second with his fingers. He glanced up at Zaeed who traded places with him a moment later.

“Why…” Ink’s question faded as she glanced down at them. She didn’t have a lot of comparison to make, but she thought their cocks might have been a little above average. She realized immediately why Zaeed would be going first. He was longer, but Hackett was wider. “ _Paska.”_

 _“_ You can still change your mind.” Hackett spoke over Zaeed who told him to ‘shut it.’

Ink hooked her long legs around Zaeed to drive him forward until his cock grazed against her inner thigh. “If you don’t take it, I’ll take it myself. You’re driving me insane with the teasing.”

Her grumblings didn’t make either of them move any faster. Hackett distracted her with his mouth on her nipples while Zaeed rocked the head of his shaft in and out of her. Ink was tired of the tease and waiting and the stress of wondering what it would be like.

Using the strength of her legs around his, Ink forced him forward until he’d sunk all the way into her. She hissed out a sharp breath at the sudden stretch.   It didn’t hurt so much as burn just a little. Their preparations paid off in the most important ways.

“Oh…god.” Ink grabbed blindly at Hackett who was to her left while Zaeed started to move in her.

Zaeed bent over her and turned his head toward Hackett. “Give me your goddamn cock.”

Ink was momentarily confused then turned on even more when Hackett shifted around so his husband could suck on his shaft. _Paska._ She was getting an education on her very first time. She didn’t get to think about it much further as her third climax of the evening overwhelmed her. She saw stars…then nothing.

“Earth to Ink.”

Ink blinked a few times then stared up into the smug faces of Hackett and Zaeed. She had no idea how much time had passed but they…seemed to have finished and cleaned all three of them up. She felt her own lips quirk up into a smile. “That was certainly more fun than cleaning fish.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

‘She left.’

They weren’t the words Zaeed wanted to wake up hearing. He wasn’t particularly amused when his husband shook him by the shoulder until he sat up in the unfamiliar bed. It took him a moment to realize they were still at Ink’s small apartment on Arcturus.   Hackett sat on the edge of the bed fully dressed with a shoe in one hand.

“Get dressed.” Hackett tossed his jeans and t-shirt towards him.

“She’ll be back.” Zaeed wasn’t all that concerned that Ink had bolted on them. He’d expected her to need time to herself. “I bet she’s at the bloody gym working out.”

“So?” Hackett shoved him until he fell out of bed. “We’re going to meet her for breakfast.”

“Pushy fucking bastard,” Zaeed grumbled. He glanced down at the tiny curls of wood covering the floor. He picked up on to get a better look. “What the fuck is this?”

Hackett caught the sliver Zaeed threw him. “Wood carvings?”

“Look at all the goddamn carvings.” Zaeed walked over to a shelf high up on the wall held rows and rows of tiny carved figurines. They were mostly animals. He lifted up a two of them that looked remarkably like the two of them. “She made you better looking.”

“I _am_ better looking.” Hackett finished with his shoes. “Let’s go meet Ink for breakfast.”

“I’d rather have the bloody girl for breakfast.” Zaeed had _planned_ on having _Ink_ before breakfast.

_Planned might have been wishful thinking on his part._

They arrived at the gym just in time for Ink to walk out if it. She appeared to have already worked out and showered. From the slight smile on her face, she appeared to have expected them to be there. She shrugged sheepishly and asked if they wanted to join her for breakfast.

“C’mere, Sweetheart.” Zaeed grabbed the front ties on her sweat pants to ease her over for a kiss. He waited until she was damn near breathless then guided her to his husband for _his_ turn. “Now we can get fucking coffee.”

“Tea.”

Zaeed slid his hands around her sides to rest along her toned abdomen. “We’ll get you your bloody tea.”

“I’d prefer it without blood.” Ink glanced down at her omni-tool when it beeped. She read the brief message then glanced up at the two of them with regret on her face. “I have… _paska_ …it isn’t like this morning when I left to avoid any awkwardness.”

“Ink?”

“My aunt…I have to go.” Ink kissed them both on the cheek then ran before either of them could say anything.

“What the _bloody hell_ was that?” Zaeed punched his husband in the arm. “You said something.”

“Me?” Hackett shook his head. “She mentioned her aunt. We should make sure she’s all right.”

* * *

 

_From: Britta_

_To: Kristoffer_

_Subj: re: Ink._

_She’s holed up at her apartment and won’t let me in. Zaeed and Steven tried to talk to her as well. Think you can get a transport back from Rio? I know the N-School training is important but so is Ink. Maybe she’ll talk to you._

_Something happened with her aunt but she won’t tell me what happened. I didn’t see anything when I searched the extra-net._

_Love you,_

_Britta_

* * *

 

“Ink?” Kristoffer slammed his fist against her front door repeatedly. He regretted showing her how to more _securely_ adjust a door lock to make it impossible to bypass. “Open up, Ink.”

“Painu helvettiin.”

He frowned at the door. “Which swear was that?”

“Fuck off.”

 _“Inkera.”_ His knuckles were starting to hurt from banging on the door. “Open this door _right_ this damn minute. That’s an order.”

“Mulkku.”

“Stop calling me a prick.”

The door finally opened to reveal a disheveled Ink with mussed up hair and a distinct odor of vodka. Kristoffer frowned as she stumbled away from the door to crash on her couch. Her legs dangled over the back of it. He started forward only to stop when his boot hit a bottle of vodka. It rolled along the floor and bumped into a second one. They both appeared to be empty.

_He’d never seen Ink drunk._

She held her liquor better than most of the marines he knew. Kristoffer picked up the two bottles and walked over to toss them into the garbage disposal in the kitchen. He glanced around the small kitchen and living room to find it in complete disarray which was unusual. She usually kept everything incredibly organized.

“Ink?” He found her struggling to sit up. “What happened?”

She flung her arm out. He was confused until he realized her finger pointed at a small golden urn sitting on a shelf above the couch. It hadn’t been there the last time he’d visited her apartment.

“I don’t…”

Ink muttered in Finnish at him. Her words were too slurred and low for his translator to pick up any of it. Kristoffer had learned a few words from her, but not enough to understand what she said. He knelt by the couch and helped her sit up. Her garbled grumbling continued despite his attempts to get her to slow down or at least speak in English.

“ _Inkera_.”

Her head snapped up at the sharp tone of his voice. Ink seemed dizzy by the sudden movement. Her eyes were unfocused when they flickered in his direction. Kristoffer didn’t think he’d get anything out of her at the moment. She needed to sleep off the vodka.

“You should get some rest.” Kristoffer tried to help her up off of the couch. She caught him in the head with her elbow and knocked him on the ground. “Shit, Ink.”

“Leave me alone.” She stumbled by him toward her bedroom.

By the time he got to his feet, Ink was already passed out asleep on the bed. Kristoffer rubbed his jaw with a groan. He went back into the living area to start cleaning up the mess. He could get to the mystery of the urn and Ink’s drinking when she was sober.

He was dumping food wrappers into the trash when a box on the kitchen counter caught his attention. It appeared to be what the urn had arrived in. He found a note inside indicating it was from Helsinki. She was the only known relatively so the funeral director had sent her aunt’s ashes to her.

* * *

 

_From: Kristoffer_

_To: Britta_

_Subj: Ink._

_Her aunt died and they sent her ashes to Ink._

_She’s passed out drunk at the moment. I’m staying here until she wakes up. Think you can whip up some of your hangover cure porridge? I think she’s going to need it._

_Love you,_

_Kristoffer_

* * *

 

Ink woke up in a state of agony. She massaged her head for a moment then groggily wandered into her living room. She couldn’t figure out why her elbow hurt so badly until she spotted Kristoffer on her couch sipping coffee with a developing bruise on the side of his face.

“Sorry.”

“Why didn’t you call me or Britta?” Kristoffer asked pointedly.

She ignored his question and headed into the kitchen to find some water to drink or maybe drown herself in to avoid the indignant man in her living room.   Kristoffer followed her into the kitchen. He retrieved a bowl of something from the fridge.

“Eat.” He shoved it across the counter to her. “It’ll make the pain in your head go away.”

“I wasn’t aware that porridge could make you disappear.” Ink took the spoon he handed to her. “Why don’t you make yourself more at home in my apartment?”

“Stop it.” Kristoffer snapped at her sharply. “I didn’t make you drink and I certainly didn’t send that bitch’s ashes to you. Eat your porridge then we’ll talk.”

“No.”

“Ink.”

“I don’t _need_ to have a conversation about my aunt and her death. I am _happy_ she is gone. _Happy_.” Ink threw the bowl of porridge into the sink and shoved Kristoffer out of her way. “I’ll be at the gym.”

He grabbed her arm to stop her. “It’s all right to grieve her.”

“Grieve? Her?” Ink’s eyes were cold when they met his. She disliked the sympathy she saw in his. She was stronger than this. She didn’t need sympathy. “I wouldn’t waste the energy.”

“Ink.”

“You shouldn’t grieve for the dead, Kristoffer.” Ink had learned lessons about death at an early edge. “They don’t care if you do or not. They’re beyond caring about your feelings. She is dead. I only hope she suffered at least a little of the pain she gave me when she died.”

“Come here.” He held his arms out to offer comfort that she briefly considered taking. “You shouldn’t be alone right now. You should be with family, Ink.”

“My family is dead.” Ink pointed to the urn and pretended not to see the flash of pain in his eyes. “That’s the last of them.”

“Family isn’t always blood.”

“Paska.” Ink dragged her fingers through her hair roughly. “I didn’t…Kristoffer.”

“Go to the gym.” He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “I’ll let Britta know you’re alive and well enough not to need anyone.”

 _“Kristoffer.”_ Ink started towards him, but he just shook his head and stormed out of her apartment. “ _Hitto_.”

She raced into her room to grab one of the carvings from the shelf then bolted from her quarters. Kristoffer had apparently hopped into a sky-car to make his way back to the port where his ship was docked. She made it there _just_ in time to dash into the airlock. His yeoman directed her to the captain’s cabin on the third deck.

“Inkera.” He frowned at her when she walked into his quarters without bothering to knock.

She held up the wood carving in her hands. It was one she’d done several years ago before she joined the Alliance. It was three figures standing side by side. In the carving, Britta and Kristoffer flanked a sixteen year old version of herself. They each had an arm wrapped around her.

“What…”

“I carved it.” Ink let him take it from her to get a closer look. “I have one that I did of me and my parents when I was younger. It was the first really intricate one that I did after my grandfather taught me how to whittle. My aunt threw it into a fire. I made this one of my new…of three of us.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I didn’t mean to disregard how much you and Britta have done for me. And I really didn’t mean to imply you…” Ink hunched her shoulders forward as she tried to explain. “I love you and Britta as much as I love my parents who died. I am sorry I hurt you just now.”

“Can I hug you _now_?” He held his arms open to her and this time she went into them. “You know we love you, right? So much that I’m willing to overlook your ridiculously dreadful taste in men.”

“ _Kristoffer.”_

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are slight potential triggers in this chapter and the next. No graphic mentions of abuse however.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

Ink stood in front of Zaeed and Steven’s apartment with a plate of Runebergintorttu clutched in her hand. She’d spent the whole morning baking with Britta who mostly watched and teased her. She wanted the small raspberry and almond tortes to be perfect. She held her shoulders back and reminded herself there was no reason to hide from the two men.

She wished for the millionth time for Britta’s smaller frame. She wished dressed fit her body like they did other women she knew. She wore her favorite button-up dress shirt and a pressed pair of grey slacks. It just didn’t have the same effect, in her mind that a sexy dress would have. She didn’t know how to do sexy.

_Knock, Ink, knock on the damn door._

_Stop talking to yourself._

She lifted her fist to bang on the door a couple of times. Hackett answered after the fourth knock. He appeared to be fresh out of the shower and had just thrown on a pair of jeans that were still unbuttoned. He had a towel in one hand. Ink’s mouth went dry and the plate in her hand tilted slightly.

Hackett reached out to take the plate from her and set it on the table near the door. “We were just about to have dinner. We’d love to have you join us.”

“We’d love to eat the bloody food off of her.” Zaeed called from the kitchen.

“I…should…” Ink was starting to think this had been a bad idea. “I can come back later.”

“Stay.” Hackett grabbed her arm before she could leave. “I keep trying to tame my savage beast of a husband. Maybe I should try a collar?”

“I heard that you bloody bastard.” Zaeed balanced three plates of food as he walked out of the kitchen. “It’s nothing fancy, just my specialty.”

Ink looked at the mouthwatering steak and eggs on the plates. “I baked…tortes.”

Hackett trailed his finger along her arm then went over to retrieve the plate he’d left by the door. “Smells good.”

“I spent a lot of time on them today.”

He smiled at her then causing her mouth to go dry. “Thank you.”

“I am sorry I missed breakfast with you.” Ink gripped the back of the chair in front of her. “I didn’t handle my aunt’s death very well.”

“We understood.” Hackett seemed to consider something for a brief moment. “I’m not sure you want condolences for the woman, but we’re sorry you were in pain.”

Zaeed moved up to stand behind her to wrap his arms around her. His stubble rubbed against the side of her neck. “Want to eat my meat?”

“ _Zaeed_.” Ink reached her arm back to swat him on the side of the head. She dropped her hand almost immediately. Her eyes shifted from his to Hackett’s then down to the floor. It was something she’d do teasingly with Hawk or Kristoffer. She didn’t know how these mans would respond. “Sorry.”

“He deserved it,” Hackett laughed.

“Bastard.”

“She was murdered.” Ink didn’t know why she blurted it out like that. She hadn’t even told Kristoffer or Britta about her aunt’s death. She dropped down into the dining room table chair with grunt. Her long legs splayed out in front of her. “They found her strangled to death in her brothel. I have to go to Helsinki tomorrow to handle her estate. She didn’t have a will, and I’m the only living relative.”

“We’ll go…” Zaeed stopped mid-sentence with a grunt when his husband elbowed him in the side. “Bastard.”

“Would you like us to come with you?” Hackett _asked_ instead of the demand she knew Zaeed had been about to make. She smiled at the two men. “We’d like to be there for you.”

“Kristoffer will be going with me.” Ink wasn’t entirely certain it was a good idea to have the three men trapped on the same ship with her. “I would…like you to come though.”

“Oh we’ll bloody…” Zaeed grunted again. “That’s goddamn domestic abuse you bastard.”

* * *

 

_From: Kristoffer_

_To: Britta_

_Subj: re: Helsinki._

_Why does she have to bring the two idiots with her?_

_Isn’t it enough that I’ve agreed to stop calling them idiots in person? Do I have to be tortured with a trip to Helsinki with them?_

_Stop laughing at me you cruel woman. You’re supposed to be on my side._

_Did you have to visit your mother this week? It’s a wicked conspiracy._

_Love you,_

_Kristoffer_

* * *

 

When Ink had asked for some time to herself at the empty brothel, Kristoffer had been hesitant to agree. He’d finally walked away to join her two suitors who were waiting by the Alliance shuttle they’d arrived in. He paced by the open door with a growing sense of concern. It didn’t feel right.

Ignoring Hackett’s attempts to tell him to stop being an overly concerned _father_ , Kristoffer stormed back toward the small townhome. He had barely gotten his foot on the first step when he heard the sound of a gunshot followed by a scream. He leapt up the last four steps and slammed his shoulder into the front door when he found it locked.

In all of the years since Kristoffer had found the tall blonde teenager hiding in the Shuttle Bay on his ship, he’d never felt parental rage course through him until now. He stormed through the rooms of the brothel until he finally found Ink. She was backed up against a wall with the barrel of a gun pressed to her forehead.

He couldn’t understand why she hadn’t done anything then he spotted the body of a young girl, maybe fifteen who was cowering behind Ink’s legs. His rage found a source to unload on when he focused on the man holding the weapon on Ink. He rushed the man grabbing him by the neck and slamming him backwards to the ground. The jolt sent the pistol flying across the floor.

“Take _care_ of my daughter.” Kristoffer spoke sharply to Hackett and Massani. He turned his head back to the man on the ground whose throat his fingers were wrapped around. “I’ll handle this slimy little man.”

“Kristoffer.”

He tightened his grip then looked over his shoulder at Ink. He could see her trying so hard to be strong. It was in the tense lines of her face and the tightness in her shoulders. She was forcing herself not to hunch them, not to try to hide. _Damn it._ He didn’t know what showed in his face when he glanced down at the man on the floor, but it must have been terrifying because the man immediately pissed himself.

“The authorities are here.” Hackett’s voice was deceptively calm. Kristoffer knew both the Admiral and his husband wanted to get their hands on the bastard for touching Ink. “Kristoffer.”

“I know.” He stood up and unleashed one last kick into the man’s side. “I look forward to letting the prisoners in your cellblock know what you do to little girls. They don’t like men like you. I doubt you’ll even last a day.”

Ink sat inside the Alliance shuttle that had arrived to pick them up. She’d moved to the seat farthest from all three of them. Kristoffer grabbed a bottle of water to rinse his hands off then dried them on his jeans. He moved across the shuttle to sit beside her. He watched her hands clench and unclench in her lap.

“That’s what you saved me from.  He's the man I was going to be forced to marry.” Ink spoke in hollow tones without looking at him or anywhere but at her hands. She muttered in Finnish for a few minutes, mostly swear words. “You could’ve turned around and left me in Helsinki. My aunt would’ve sent me to him. And…you saved me from that when you took me into your home.”

“Ink.”

“Thank you.” She coughed a few times, probably trying not to cry and then she laughed…a little too loudly. “You made him piss himself.”

“I did.” He was way too pleased about it. “Don’t tell Britta.”

“You actually made him wet his pants.” Ink ran her fingers through her hair though Kristoffer noticed her fingers were trembling.

“Do you want to…”

_“No.”_

_“_ Ink.”

“I do not _need_ to talk about it now…or _ever_.” Ink shook her head slowly. “Let it alone, Kristoffer.”

* * *

 

_From: Hawk Wilson_

_To: Ink Shepard_

_Subj: Helsinki._

_So…what’s the deal?_

_You went with your two hotties and your dad to Helsinki after the bitch died, you came back and now everyone is weird and quiet and avoiding each other._

_Spill, Inkster, what happened?_

_Hawk_


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

The fact that the man who tried to hurt Ink had mysteriously died in prison after only four days went mysteriously uninvestigated and unmentioned by everyone. Hackett claimed Zaeed was sick in bed that day when Ink asked where he was. She shook her head at the look of satisfaction in his eyes…and in Kristoffer’s eyes. She went to the gym to run again…for hours.

She’d run for hours every single day since coming back from Helsinki. The images of what the man had been doing to the young girl when she arrived at the brothel were etched in her mind. It would’ve been her fate if not for her decision to sneak onto that Alliance ship when she was sixteen.

_She still ran…with everything._

Ink thought running might have been her main talent. She had three weeks before the next level of her N-classes. She felt apathy about it all, especially when she stared at the urn on her shelf. Britta kept urging her to get rid of it. It was the last thing she’d said to Ink before heading to Paris for research for her next book.

_And…she still continued to run._

Whenever Ink left the gym, Hackett or Zaeed always seemed to be waiting for her outside, every single time. Ink spent time with them…breakfasts, lunches but went back to her apartment alone. She came to a sudden stop in the middle of the indoor race track. Her clothes were completely drenched with sweat. She felt light-headed. It was time to shower and find something to eat.

It wasn’t Zaeed or Hackett outside of the gym when Ink finally trudged outside. Kristoffer sat on the bench across from the front doors with two cups in his hand. He held one out to her when she walked over to him. It was tea, made just the way she liked it.

“You missed family dinner last night.” Kristoffer’s eyes were filled with concern and questions. Ink focused on the warm tea in her hand. “You never miss that, even when Britta’s gone.”

“I was busy.”

“Running?”

Ink lifted her arms to flex her muscles. “You taught me the value of keeping in shape.”

“Inkera.”

“ _Kristoffer_.”

“Sit.” He pointed to the bench beside him. He grabbed her arm and dragged her down when she stubbornly stood in front of him. “I went to your apartment and got rid of the bitch’s ashes. She’s toxic for you, Ink. You keep staring at them and forgetting that she can’t actually hurt you anymore. You saved yourself.”

“You…did…what?”

“I didn’t toss them in the garbage.” Kristoffer’s half smile told her that he’d been tempted to. “I put them at one of the memorials here. I will tell you where eventually.”

“Eventually?” Ink stood up and paced in front of him. “I didn’t give you the codes to my apartment so you could steal from me.”

“Ink.”

“Eat dinner by yourself.” Ink strode away as quickly as her long legs would carry her. She went right back into the gym to run even longer.

“You’re going to hurt yourself.” Kristoffer joined her on the race track ten minutes into it. He’d changed into sweatpants and an Alliance t-shirt. “What did I tell you about going past your limits?”

“I don’t remember.”

“Inkera Shepard.” He caught her arm and swept her feet out from under her. He knelt beside her as she breathed heavily for a few moments. She banged her head against the ground twice before he stopped her. “Enough, Ink, enough. The images in your mind won’t disappear by running yourself into exhaustion. They won’t go away because you drink vodka until four in the morning. They won’t disappear if you lock yourself up from the people who care about you.”

“Then what will?”

“Time.” He grabbed her arm and forced her up to her feet. “We’re going to have breakfast. Then you’re going to go have lunch with fucking Hackett and his fucking husband.”

“ _Kristoffer_.”

“What?” He bumped his shoulder against hers. “You might call that mischief maker of a friend, Hawk. He asked me about you.”

“I thought you said drinking wouldn’t help?” Ink laughed when he shoved her again.

“Ink?” He squeezed her shoulder lightly. “The images do fade away.”

* * *

 

_From: Hawk Wilson_

_To: Ink Shepard_

_Subj: re: Addled-Minded Majors._

_Kristoffer isn’t addled, well, not for taking the ashes._

_You were getting fixated on the things when you should be fixated on helping me find dates as hot as yours._

_So…get your ass to the bar to help me._

_Hawk_

* * *

 

Ink had been at the bar with Hawk an hour when he grinned at her then pointed behind. She glanced over her shoulder to find two very attractive men moving purposefully toward her. They were both dressed casually in jeans though Zaeed wore a t-shirt while Hackett had a simple long-sleeved dress shirt on.   Ink punched Hawk in the arm when he muttered something to her that was definitely crude to her.

She pushed through the crowd to meet the two men half-way through the room. She threaded her fingers through Hackett’s then the fingers of her other hand took Zaeed’s hand. They followed her outside of the bar.

“I like you more than fishing.” Ink groaned the minute the words were out. The hands she was holding held her tightly to keep her from pulling away. “I like fishing a lot.”

Zaeed twisted her around until he could wrap his arms around her. “We _like_ you a bloody lot as well, certainly more than goddamn fishing. Are you feeling better, Sweetheart?”

She tilted her head to smile up at him. “I’m starting to feel again…and that is better than before.”

“How about we head to our quarters so we can feel you a little more?” Zaeed grinned at her.

“ _Zaeed_.” Hackett wrapped his own arms around the two of them. “Let’s have dinner _first._ ”

“On her?” Zaeed asked hopefully.

“No.”

“Bastard.”

They ate dinner together.  It was a simple meal.  Ink hadn't really tasted much of anything she'd eaten recently.  They seemed to know she wasn't ready for much of anything, but instead of letting her bolt from them.  Hackett insisted she watch a movie with them.

It turned out to not be a move, but a documentary on oceans on Earth and other planets.  Ink was riveted to the screen.  She barely noticed when Hackett gathered her up between him and Zaeed. 

"Ink?"

She forced her gaze away from the vid to glance back at Hackett. "Yes?"

"We're not going anywhere, even if you run...even if you never want back in our bed.  We'll still be here _for_ you." He brushed his lips against her head.

"But we'd really like you back in our goddamn bed." Zaeed had been dozing, but managed to open one eye to comment before drifting back to sleep.

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

Ink sprawled out on her bed on her back. She still had trouble sleeping. _Still_. She kicked off the blankets impatiently with an exasperated groan. She needed rest badly. Her next N-Class started in a few days. She’d wash out in an hour if she couldn’t get at least one night of sleep.

Pushing herself up on her elbows, Ink stared at the cargo pants and dark green with light green striped polo shirt she’d tossed at the foot of the bed before crashing onto it. She argued with her clothing for a while. She never told anyone about her sleepless nights, not even Britta or Kristoffer.   She didn’t want to see the look of sympathy or pity or whatever it was they always seemed to have when they looked her way lately.

She wasn’t weak.

With an angry snarl, Ink moved off of the bed over to the chin-up bar that spanned the doorway between her room and the living room. She jerked herself up and down repeatedly.   It didn’t help, just like it hadn’t helped the past seven nights.

Tossing aside the shirt she’d slept in, Ink pulled on the clothes from the foot of the bed. She left her quarters to go to the one place that might offer help with sleep. It took eight knocks for the door to finally open.

“Ink?” Zaeed blinked blearily at her wearing nothing but a pair of boxers. “Whose ass am I kicking? Someone bothering you?”

“What?” Ink raised an eyebrow at him; did he really think she couldn’t kick anyone’s ass? She was almost six-foot and strong enough to lift the groggy bastard in front of her. She shook her head at him. “No…I can’t sleep.”

“And you came to us?” Hackett stepped up beside his husband, wearing just as much as Zaeed was.

“I’m so tired,” Ink said wearily.

The two men exchanged a look Ink missed completely. Hackett grabbed her hand to lead her through their dark apartment into the bedroom. She was tired enough that the slight embarrassment she usually felt at being undressed by them didn’t even flicker through her as they stripped her down to her undergarments. Zaeed lent her one of his t-shirts then they gathered her between them on the bed.

“Can’t sleep,” she mumbled. Her eyes were already drifting closed. “Olen väsynyt.”

“You’re straying into words the translator doesn’t catch, Ink.” Hackett ran his fingers gently through her hair. “What was that?”

“Tired.”

“Then go to sleep, Sweetheart.” Zaeed caressed her back while Hackett’s fingers brushed along the sides of her face and through her hair. “Just drift off. We can handle the goddamn monsters in the shadows for you.”

Ink’s eyes felt so heavy. Her head tilted forward to rest on Hackett’s shoulder. She felt them press closer to her. She took a deep breath and then drifted off before she could answer whatever question Hackett had murmured against her ear.

* * *

 

_From: Hawk Wilson_

_To: Ink Shepard_

_Subj: You naughty thing._

_Where the hell are you?_

_We’re supposed to run this morning and you sure as hell aren’t in your apartment cause I’ve been knocking for the past thirty minutes._

_So where exactly did you sleep last night?_

_You might want to get your long-legged self out of bed into the gym. Aren’t you supposed to help Kristoffer train his new class this morning?_

_I’m going to hang out with him just to see your walk of shame._

_Good luck, Inkster._

_Hawk_

* * *

 

She shot up out of bed what felt like minutes after falling asleep to the sound of a loud buzzer. It was several, confused minutes before she realized where she was.   The alarm clock was silenced by a heavy smack from a grumbling Zaeed who knocked it across the room into the wall.

“Bloody thing.” Zaeed slid his arm around her waist to ease her back down under the covers with him. “Bastard sets it to go off just to keep me from getting more sleep than he gets.”

“What time is it?” Ink rubbed her eyes then rummaged around in her cargo pants for her omni-tool. She was late, very late. “Paska.”

“Problem, Sweetheart?”

“I’m an hour late to help Kristoffer teach his recruits and I wore these clothes to dinner with him yesterday,” Ink groaned. Kristoffer was going to make her life miserable. “Paskiainen.”

“Let me make you breakfast.”

“No time.”

Ink gave him a quick kiss on the cheek then launched herself off of the bed. She muttered to herself as she quickly dressed. It took her ten minutes to get across Arcturus. Kristoffer was running the group of marines through a few simple hand-to-hand movies when she rushed inside the training facility. Hawk winked at her then turned his attention to the group.

“Morning, Lieutenant Shepard.” Kristoffer gave her clothes a once-over. “Forget your uniform?”

“Paskiainen.”

“My mother resents that remark.” His eyes were twinkling at her. “Go find a pair of fatigues to change into.”

“Yes, Sir.” Ink saluted him then jogged towards the locker room. She’d left a bag there the night before so she should have a clean set of Alliance sweats inside. She was pulling her sneakers on when Hawk stepped inside. “Don’t start.”

“Who me?” He winked at her then sat next to her on the locker room bench. “So where _did_ you sleep last night?”

“Shut. Up.”

“C’mon, share.” He nudged her with his elbow.

“We just slept,” Ink said firmly. She paused with her shoelaces in her fingers. “It was…nice. I felt…”

“Yes?”

“Safe, loved.” Ink jerked the laces tighter than she intended. “Paska. Forget the last one.”

Hawk wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “Not a fucking chance, Inkster.”

“It’s too soon.”

“Says who?”

“Anyone with a brain.” Ink dropped her foot back to the floor. “Let’s go before Kristoffer has a chance to really think about why I was wearing the same clothes as yesterday.”

“Aww, Ink’s first walk of shame.” Hawk shoved her out of the locker room when she stopped to punch him. “I’m so proud.”

“Asshole.”

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

“You’re avoiding them again.” Britta blew on the tea Ink had just served her. “Kristoffer said you’ve been finished with your N-course for a week, you haven’t been to see them once. This is the first I’ve seen you on Arcturus in a while.”

“I…” Ink sank down on the chair across from Britta with a belabored sigh. “I might be in love.”

“This is a surprise?” Britta hid her smile behind the teacup. She needed to give Ink the right kind of nudge to get her to move forward…instead of _away from_ the two men. “I already knew you were in love.”

“It’s too soon,” Ink muttered. She hunched forward in the chair always a sign she was uncomfortable. “Isn’t it too soon?”

“You’ve known them longer than you’ve known Kristoffer and I.” Britta sipped her tea trying to keep the conversation on topic but calm. “You were in love with your _Paper_ before you knew who they were. Why would that changed now that you’ve known them in person for so many years? Don’t allow your aunt to ruin this beautiful gift you’ve been given.”

“Britta.”

She leaned across the table to cover Ink’s hand and squeeze it gently. “Risk your heart, Ink. Tell them the truth. If they do break your heart, Kristoffer can always shoot them for you. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind one little bit.”

“ _Paska_.”

“Are you certain you didn’t really come from Kristoffer? You both swear at me when you know I’m right,” Britta smiled sweetly at her. “And I’m _always_ right.”

“Go write something.” Ink shook her head at Britta.

* * *

 

_From: Hawk Wilson_

_To: Ink Shepard_

_Subj: re: Door Bypass._

_Yes, I do know how to bypass a door lock, even the more secure ones in the officer’s housing._

_Why?_

_What are you planning, Inkster?_

_And how can I help?_

_Hawk_

_P.S. Kristoffer better bail us both out this time._

* * *

 

_From: Ink Shepard_

_To: Hawk Wilson_

_Subj: re: Door Bypass._

_Kristoffer didn’t bail you out because it was your fault. You started the fight with the jackasses from the Team Delta, not me. I was only there for the vodka._

_You didn’t get bailed out because you were drunk and you told him that he needed to get laid._

_Ink_

* * *

 

“We had a visitor.” Zaeed carried the carving he’d found in the center of their bed into the kitchen where his husband was cooking dinner. “A very tall, beautiful visitor who left us a present.”

Hackett turned the burner off and came over to inspect the intricately whittled carving of two fish that were curved up into the shape of a heart. “She loves us.”

“Time to reel the goddamn fish in?” Zaeed placed the carving up on one of the shelves in the living room. “Can we stop all the bloody waiting for her to be comfortable before we _express_ our feelings?”

“Why did I marry you?” Hackett moved over to the stove to start plating up their dinner.

“I’m confident the answer is in my trousers.” Zaeed smirked at his husband. “I’m inviting her for dinner.”

“Zaeed.”

“I’m tired of all the goddamn waiting.” He ignored Hackett’s protests and wandered over to the terminal in the living room to send a quick message to Ink inviting her over. “She said no.”

“No?” Hackett raised an eyebrow at him. “What _exactly_ did you say?”

“I don’t remember.”

“ _Zaeed._ ” Hackett shoved him away from the terminal to get a look at the message. He glared over his shoulder at his husband. “Perhaps you could’ve worded it better?”

“Too much goddamn effort.”

* * *

 

_From: Steven Hackett_

_To: Ink Shepard_

_Subj: Dinner._

_Please ignore my husband and his inability to use the brain in his head._

_We’d love to have you over for dinner, maybe watch a vid together?_

_We loved the carving you left for us._

_Please?_

_Steven_

* * *

 

_From: Ink_

_To: Paper_

_Subj: re: Dinner._

_I can’t._

_I promised Kristoffer that I’d have dinner with them this evening. I’ve missed ‘family dinners’ for a while now. I think he’s feeling left out._

_We could have breakfast after I run._

_If you would like to…do that._

_That sounded less awkward when I thought it._

_Ink_

* * *

 

Dinner with Kristoffer and Britta had been…as enjoyable as it always was except Britta continually poked at Ink about talking to Zaeed and Steven. It didn’t stop throughout the meal. As Ink was leaving, Britta pressed a plate containing three over-sized portions of her dark chocolate raspberry brownies into her hands.

_“Britta.”_

“Go see if your men want dessert.” Britta winked at her then shoved her out of their apartment.

Ink stared down at the plate with a sigh. She made her way across the station to knock on a familiar door. She lifted the brownies up when Hackett stood in front of her in a t-shirt and sweat pants. “Would you like a brownie?”

He gave her a broad smile before stepping back to let her inside. “I sense Britta’s meddling.”

Ink would’ve answered but the sight of Zaeed sitting on the couch in just his boxers caused her brain to blank for a minute. Hackett chuckled behind her. He took the plate from her then placed a hand on her shoulder to guide her over to the couch. She didn’t notice the carving on the wall until she was sitting on the couch between them with her legs sprawled out in front of her.

Hackett took her hand and lifted it up to his lips. “We _love_ you too.”

“Can we get back to the naked goddamn parts now?” Zaeed grumbled.

“No.” Hackett leaned forward to focus his glare on his husband. “We’re going to enjoys brownies and that movie you wanted to see.”

“Goddamn tyrant.”

Ink relaxed slowly as the two men bickered with each other. She could get used to this. She settled in and then glanced down in surprise when Zaeed twisted around on the couch so he was on his back with his head resting against her thigh. His legs dangled over the arm of the couch. He winked up at her then turned his head toward the vid.

“Get comfortable.” Hackett draped his arm across her shoulders to ease her over so she was leaning against him. “We can eat his brownie when he falls asleep.”

“I heard that you goddamn bastard.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Food Reference: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/88679522551/verticalfood-raspberry-brownies


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

_From: Captain David Anderson_

_To: Commander Inkera Shepard_

_Subj: Orders._

_Report to Arcturus immediately, Commander._

_I’d like to offer you congratulations on being named the XO for the newly commissioned vessel, The Normandy._

_I’ll be your CO._

_We ship out in two weeks. I’d like you to arrive sooner to work out a few details of the upcoming tour with you._

_Anderson_

* * *

 

_Paska_

_Good opportunity, very bad timing._

Ink had spent a year and a half avoiding Arcturus. She managed successfully to _not_ even spend time on a ship docking on the station. The reason for it was mostly because two years back, Zaeed and Steven proposed to her. She said, no, several times, and they kept pushing. She tried explaining she had zero interest in ever marrying, they wouldn’t listen.

_Something had to break._

In the end, Ink broke. She felt like she was tying them unfairly to a future they didn’t want. They clearly wanted a wife to marry, again. And she had no interest in the idea of marriage. The obvious decision was to let them go.

_So she did._

Then applied for the first post that would take her far away from Arcturus.

A year and a half, Ink avoided seeing either man. Her self-exile meant she hadn’t really spent time with Britta or Kristoffer either. The former kept trying to convince her to just _talk_ to the men while her husband told her she was better off without the two men.

She wasn’t.

She missed them so much her body ached.

When Hawk found out Ink was heading to Arcturus again, he insisted on setting her up on a blind date. She tried saying no, he refused to back down. He’d been harassing her for months to get out and at least attempt to meet someone new. She wasn’t interested… _at all._

Hawk didn’t seem to understand the concept of _no_ which was why Ink sat at the bar of one of the restaurants near her quarters with a glass of vodka in her hand. She sniffed the clear liquid then wrinkled her nose at it. It was impossible to get the _good stuff_ unless she was back in Helsinki.

“Ink.”

She closed her eyes with the absurd hope her blind date wasn’t who she thought it was. “I am not here.”

“You’re doing an amazing goddamn impression of being here.” Zaeed definitely still sounded like himself. He slid onto the bar stool to her left while Hackett leaned against the bar on her right.

“Hawk will die,” she murmured into her vodka.

“Why is Hawk going to die?” Hackett asked curiously.

She turned her head to look between the two men. “You aren’t…oh… _paska.”_

 _“_ Commander Shepard?”

She slowly twisted around on the bar-stool and found herself staring up at a rather attractive young Alliance officer. He held his hand out to her and introduced himself as Luca, one of Hawk’s friends and her blind date. Her eyes went from him to the stricken look on Hackett’s face and the anger in Zaeed’s eyes.

“This was a mistake.” Ink paid for her vodka and left the restaurant with a quiet plea _not_ to be followed by any of the three men watching her carefully.

* * *

 

_From: Hawk Wilson_

_To: Ink Shepard_

_Subj: re: Blind Date._

_That is…shit._

_I’m sorry, Inkster._

_It wasn’t my intention to make it worse. No more blind dates until you’re ready. Want a drinking buddy? I get off of my shift in a few hours._

_Hawk_

* * *

 

Anderson asked to meet her the following morning around ten so Ink woke up early enough to get in a couple of hours at the gym. She stepped out intending to head back to her quarters to change into her uniform when she found Hackett waiting for her. He held two cups from the nearby café in his hands.

“Tea?” He held one out to her. “Can we talk?”

Ink took a sip of tea while scowling at him. “Talk.”

“Here?”

Ink forced her shoulders back and gestured towards the work-out clothing she wore. “I have a meeting that I need to dress for. You picked the place. _Talk_.”

“We miss you.”

Ink held the cup of tea back out to him. “I don’t want to marry. I’m not interested in marriage, Steven. You and Zaeed are interested in being with someone who eventually wants to marry. It was a point of argument between us, and I can’t imagine it would’ve gotten better over time.”

“You might change…”

 _“Paskiainen,”_ Ink snapped at him. “Isn’t it enough that I hurt? My mind will not change on the issue of marriage. I hope you find someone who wants wedding rings, and name changes and everything else marriage entails.”

“You love us.” Hackett refused to take the tea from her. “You _loved_ us.”

“I do.”

“Then?”

“I’m not interested in marriage.” She ran her fingers raggedly through her hair. “How many times must we have the same conversation, Steven?”

“You want us.” He spoke with complete confidence.

“Yes.”

Hackett sipped his coffee for a moment. His eyes stayed on Ink who tried to at least appear calm. “If the idea of marriage was taken off of the table, would you give us a second chance?”

“Why?”

“Because you love us.” Hackett stood up and crossed over to her. He brushed his lips against her cheek. “Think it over.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

_From: Hawk Wilson_

_To: Ink Shepard_

_Subj: re: No._

_Sorry, Inkster, I’m not helping you avoid everyone. _

_Kristoffer might not scare me, but Britta is terrifying._

_I will however get you drunk off your ass if you come over to my quarters later._

_Hawk_

* * *

 

“She needs to talk to them.” Britta spoke in a hushed whisper Ink could _barely_ make out. She was having dinner with her adopted family and had excused herself from the room briefly. It had apparently left the couple time to argue about her. “Don’t frown at me like that Kristoffer Nolek. You know that I’m right.”

“Leave it alone, _Britta Nolek_.” Kristoffer didn’t bother lowering his voice. “Ink stop trying to hide in the hallway. You’re too damn tall to pretend to be invisible.”

She forced herself to straighten her shoulders and head into the dining room. “I am _not_ interested in talking about my… _issues._ ”

“Ink…”

She started for the door only to find Kristoffer blocking the exit. She grumbled t him when he pulled her into a hug. He responded by telling her at some point she would have to stop using running as her solution to everything. She slumped into a chair and drowned her sorrows in the casserole Britta set in front of her. They wisely kept the conversation focused on her upcoming tour on the _Normandy_.

With _family_ taken care of for the evening, Ink decided to take Hawk up on his offer for drinks. He usually kept her favorite brand of vodka at his place. She needed quiet and liquor, he could at least provide one of those things.

Her trip was cut short by the two men who blocked her path to the shuttle station. “Paska.”

“Can we talk?” Hackett asked.

_"Steven."_

His arm went around her before she could walk past them. He tugged her up against him. His lips found hers quickly.  He punctuated each kiss with softly spoken words, ending with, "we love you."

 _"Steven."_ She scowled at him when he twisted her around so Zaeed could do the same thing. His kisses were harder…more intense. She pressed her hands firmly against his chest to shove him away. “Enough with the kissing.”

“Have you thought about…”

“It was two days ago.” Ink cut Zaeed off with an impatient wave of her hand. “You gave me _two days_? It’s not enough time.”

“You know what you want, goddamn it.” Zaeed sounded and looked incredibly frustrated. “If you don’t want us, just say so.”

“ _Zaeed._ ” Hackett rested his hand on his husband’s shoulder. Ink watched the two men exchange a look that seemed to say more than she could interpret. “Have a good…”

“Tea.” Ink wanted to cover her mouth with her hand. She sounded like an idiot, spluttering out one word that made no sense. She stared at the hand on Zaeed’s shoulder to avoid whatever emotion was in their eyes. “I had dinner; I was planning on drinks with Hawk. Would you like to have tea with me?”

“At your place?” Zaeed asked hopefully.

“ _No_.”

She knew the sharpness was back in her voice, but she wasn’t sure having the two men in her quarters would do anything to make her feel better. It would just make it all even more awkward. She certainly had enough awkwardness without adding to it.

_Paska_

“Why don’t we…”

Ink wanted to run away. She wanted to run until she couldn’t breathe. She’d been able to ignore the impact the two men had on her when she was far away from them. She could drink her vodka, whittle away at a piece of wood and ignore her heart.

Romance had never come naturally to her. Ink took after her father who was more gruff and abrupt in his declarations to her mother. Even with her limited experience, she knew she’d missed the two men, missed them enough it had felt like everything in her life dimmed when she left them.

_Even if it hadn’t been her fault._

Hackett had been watching her carefully. He wrapped his arm around Zaeed’s shoulder and turned him around. “We’re going to that bakery near the gym you love so much. They’re still open. We’ll order tea and something sweet, if you want to join us, we’d love it. If you want to go to meet up with your friend, that’s fine too. We’ll just keep trying.”

* * *

 

_From: Ink Shepard_

_To: Hawk Wilson_

_Subj: Drinks._

_I might be late._

_Don’t ask._

_Don’t smirk at my message. I know you’re smirking, stop it._

_Ink_

* * *

 

_From: Ink Shepard_

_To: Steven Hackett; Zaeed Massani_

_Subj: Tea._

_I didn’t intend to stand you up._

_I was on my way to the café when Kristoffer message me. Britta collapsed in the kitchen. She’s at the hospital. We’re waiting to see what the doctors think is happening. They’re running all these tests._

_Sorry. I think tea and the conversation you wanted to have is going to have to be put off. I can’t…I can’t deal with it right now._

_Ink_

 

 

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

_From: Hawk Wilson_

_To: Ink Shepard_

_Subj: re: Britta._

_I’m stuck on a double shift at the moment; I’ll be there as soon as I can._

_She’ll be fine, Inkster._

_Hawk_

* * *

 

Slouched down in an uncomfortable seat in the waiting room, Ink eavesdropped on the hushed conversation Kristoffer was having with one of the doctors. Britta appeared to have some sort of viral infection. It was affecting her ears as well which had caused her to have increasing bouts of dizziness. They had her on medication that should have her on the mend quickly.

Kristoffer rushed down the hall toward Britta’s hospital room leaving Ink to her thoughts. He probably wasn’t even aware of her presence at the moment. She decided to leave the couple to have a little privacy. She sank further in the chair and tilted her head to rest it against the wall behind her. She lifted her hand to rub her thumb against the ‘ _breathe’_ tattooed on her arm repeatedly. It was a reminder.

_Britta would be fine._

_The doctor said so, unless he was lying._

“Ink?”

She cracked one eye open to find two familiar figures in front of her. “Hi.”

“We wanted to be here for you.” Hackett nudged his husband who immediately held out a thermos along with a little paper bag. She peered inside the latter to find fresh-baked cardamom rolls inside. She could smell the heady blend of sugar, butter and spices. It reminded her that her last meal had been quite a while ago. “I baked them just now. We hoped a little taste of home would be comforting for you.”

“I made the goddamn tea,” Zaeed muttered gruffly.

Setting both the tea and rolls down on the seat next to her, Ink got slowly to her feet. She reached hesitantly at first toward them. When they didn’t move at all, she forced herself to be the one to break the moment. She flung an arm around each man to draw them closer. It was only a second before they crushed her between them.

“I bloody miss you.” Zaeed’s harshly spoken words were muffled by her hair. She could feel his smirk when Hackett cleared his throat loudly. “Fine, bastard. _We_ bloody miss you.”

“I don’t want to marry.” Ink lifted her hands to cover their mouths when they started to speak. “I love you. I…believe, given today’s frightening turn of events, life is too short _not_ to offer seconds chances when love is involved. But I don’t want to hear any more about weddings.”

“I’ll gag the bastard if he even mentions it.” Zaeed promised with another grin.

“I’m confident we’ll both honor your request.” Hackett reached around her to punch his husband in the arm. “We want you anyway you’ll let us have you.”

“Preferably naked in our goddamn bed.” Zaeed blocked the second punch Hackett threw at him with ease. “Bloody bastard. How about we get a divorce then _neither_ of us is married?”

 _“Idiootteja,”_ she said with a quiet laugh.

“That’s a new one.” Hackett nuzzled along the edge of her hairline on her right said as he moved in for what would likely be a kiss.

“Ink?”

She peered through a gap between the two men to find Kristoffer waiting with a smile for her and a warning glare for the two men. Ignoring Zaeed’s grumbling about interrupting and interfering bastards, she pushed them out of her way to practically bowl Kristoffer over with a hug when he said Britta was awake and doing fine. She grabbed the tea and bag of pastries and disappeared down the hall to see for herself that her adopted mother was going to be okay.

* * *

 

When the two men started to follow, Kristoffer held his arms up to block their path. He gestured for them to follow him into an empty room down the hall.   Britta had made him promise not to interfere directly in Ink’s relationship with the men. She’d been worried he’d react angrily. It was a justified concern since Ink was, in his mind, _his daughter._ He didn’t give a damn how tall and strong she was, or how skilled with a weapon. She was his to protect and a little fear never hurt anyone.

“Kristoffer?” Hackett broke the awkward silence. “Do we have a problem?”

“Not in the least.” He smiled pleasantly at them then reared back and slammed his fist straight into Hackett’s jaw. He ducked Zaeed’s attack and caught the bounty hunter in the face with an elbow. He crossed his arms and glared down at the men on the floor. “Break her heart again and I’ll do more than just leave you with a bruise. I train marines how to fight, if I can take down an entire N6 class on my own, you two don’t stand a chance.”

“Was that _really_ necessary?” Ink spoke from behind him. She moved up to stand next to Kristoffer. “I am _so_ telling Britta on you.”

“ _Inkera Shepard._ ”

* * *

 

_From: Hawk Wilson_

_To: Ink Shepard_

_Subj: re: Oh god._

_Please tell me there is vid of that._

_I can’t…deal…with…it._

_I need vid. I need evidence that Kristoffer beat the crap out of your boyfriends._

_Hawk_

_P.S. I’m so glad Britta’s doing better._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Food Reference: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/90059340291


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

_From: Captain Anderson_

_To: Commander Shepard_

_Subj: re: The Normandy._

_I’d like you to meet me at the ship at 0600 in the morning. We’ll want to complete final inspection before we leave.   As my XO, I prefer for you to be with me._

_I expect us to have an easy for tour._

_Anderson_

* * *

 

It described Ink’s current state of emotions perfectly.

One look at the two men sitting across from her at the restaurant told Ink they were as nervous as she was. They still had fading bruises on their faces. Kristoffer certainly knew how to throw a punch. Britta had attempted to convince him to apologize; his response was to message the men to say how very sorry he was they were too moronically idiotic to deserve Ink in the first place. He then apologized for ever thinking they could pull their heads out of their asses for long enough to treat her correctly.

Ink and Hawk laughed for an hour when Kristoffer showed the message to them. She bought him a case of his favorite beer to say ‘thanks.’ Britta had _not_ been amused by it. She made her husband sleep on the couch for a few days. Ink laughed even harder at that.

“Ink?”

She stopped shredding the roll in her fingers and met Hackett’s worried gaze. Her eyes drifted to the bruise on his jaw. She snorted then covered her mouth to stop another laugh. _Paska._ It was so awkward.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What is so goddamn funny?” Zaeed tossed his napkin at her when she snorted again.

“Kristoffer sleeping on the couch.” Ink felt her nerves dissipate as they laughed with her. Her laughter faded while she looked between the two of them. “I missed this…missed…you.”

She hadn’t really wanted to admit that to them. The smile on Hackett’s face made the admission worth it. Zaeed’s response was to shift his leg under the table until his boot rubbed up against the inside of her left leg. She shifted her own foot until she could step on his to keep it in place.

“ _Ink._ ”

“ _Zaeed._ ” She wasn’t ready for him to coax her into bed with them yet. If they were going to move forward, she needed assurances they truly understood her limits. She grabbed the vodka the server had brought to her and drank half of it. “Can you promise not to pressure me about marriage again?”

“We can.” Hackett elbowed Zaeed who immediately nodded. “Can _you_ promise not to run from us?”

“Nope,” Ink answered honestly. “The _Normandy_ ships out in the morning.”

“Fuck.”

Ink laughed at Zaeed’s grumpy pout. “You knew this would happen.”

“It was much goddamn easier to deal with when I was focused on you dumping the two of us.” Zaeed stole Hackett’s napkin to throw at her.

“Would you like me to sever ties again?” Ink glanced at the small pile of napkins she’d put together from what he’d thrown at her. “This conversation would be much easier if you were fish.”

“Oh?”

“I could sprinkle food on you and talk and not have to deal with your responses.” She dodged another napkin from Zaeed. “You’re going to run out of those.”

“Spend the night with us?”

“I…can’t.” Ink rested her hands on the top of the table. “Sorry. There’s a little family tradition I have to take part in.”

“Family tradition?”

“Be at my flat 0500.” Ink decided to invite them along. It was usually just her and Kristoffer, sometimes Hawk if he were on Arcturus.

* * *

 

_From: Hawk Wilson_

_To: Ink Shepard_

_Subj: re: Vodka Shots._

_I wouldn’t miss it for the world._

_A hundred credits says Kristoffer punches them again._

_Hawk_

* * *

 

Five shots of vodka were spread across Ink’s kitchen table when the four men arrived within a few minutes of each other. Ink shared shots with them, muttered a sailor’s prayer her father always said before going out to sea then hugged Kristoffer fiercely. He glared over her shoulder at Hackett and Massani. He understood why she’d invited them; it didn’t mean he liked it. He’d started this little ritual with Ink when she left for boot camp. They’d left Britta out of it because she wouldn’t have approved of the vodka.

 _It was a father-daughter_ _moment._

Ink seemed to understand what he was thinking because she hugged him harder. “Thanks for being here.”

“I’d really enjoy punching both of them again; however I’d prefer to be allowed back into my bedroom.” He knew Britta wouldn’t appreciate him going after Ink’s suitors for a second time, even if the bastards deserved it. “Are you happy?”

“Yes.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

_From: Steven_

_To: Zaeed_

_Subj: re: Eden Prime._

_David messaged me to let me know Ink is still unconscious in the Med Bay. Karin isn’t sure what the beacon did to her, if anything. She’s going to continue monitoring her while the Normandy heads to the Citadel._

_They’ll let me know when she wakes up._

_Meet me on the Citadel?_

_Steven_

* * *

 

_From: Ink Shepard_

_To: Hawk Wilson_

_Subj: re: Scrambled Brains._

_Very amusing._

_My brain is not scrambled; it might have gotten a little baked though._

_I have the worst headache, worse than the time I let you mix my drinks for me._

_Ink_

* * *

 

There were messages from Kristoffer and Britta as well when Ink finally woke up in the Med Bay. She had time to respond to Hawk then Captain Anderson ordered her to the bridge. They arrived on the Citadel and she found herself ordered off of the ship to meet up with Ambassador Udina who she immediately disliked. He reminded her too much of the men she’d known in Helsinki, the slimy politicians who often visited her aunt’s brothel.

_Slippery as eels._

With the Council refusing to help, Ink headed to Chora’s Den with Alenko and Williams to find the C-Sec officer who might provide information on Saren. The Alliance officers ran straight into an ambush outside the club. She managed to take down the first assassin then turned to find the second already down. She was surprised to see Zaeed crouching down to make sure he’d killed the shooter.

“Zaeed?” Ink holstered her weapon then glanced from the bounty hunter up to the large sign for the club. “Spending time with strippers?”

“Wasting time waiting for your goddamn ass.” He grinned at her and completely ignored the two Alliance officers behind her. “Blue doesn’t bloody do it for me, Sweetheart.”

“Charming.” Williams stepped up beside Ink with a curious lilt to her voice. “He a friend of yours, Commander?”

Deciding now was the perfect time to let Alenko down gently given his overt interest in the past month on the ship, Ink introduced Zaeed as one half of the _men_ in her life. The biotic’s eyes widened when Zaeed grabbed Ink’s armor and yanked her against him for a kiss. They were interrupted by an amused Admiral Hackett.

Her squads surprise grew when the Admiral drew first Zaeed then Ink into hard, possessive kisses. He acknowledged the salutes from Alenko and Williams. With a smile for Ink, Steven led Zaeed away from the club. He promised to meet her at the embassy when she finished finding the evidence against Saren.

Shutting down the questions from Williams, Ink focused their attention on finding Garrus. Her nerves and embarrassment evaporated when she channeled her energy into being ‘Commander Shepard.’ She still felt a little uneasy at their relationship being so out in the open when she hadn’t really…spent much time with them recently.

* * *

 

_From: Britta_

_To: Ink_

_Subj: re: Forgiveness._

_When Kristoffer makes a mess of things, which as you know he does often, I find I have two choices. I can forgive, forget and move on, or I can let my hurt fester until our relationship is ruined completely. I love him too much not to choose the first option._

_You love them._

_Let the past stay there. You’ll find the easy comfort with them again._

_Congratulations on being named a Spectre. Kristoffer was disappointed we couldn’t make it for the ceremony. As much as I hated missing it, I was glad he wasn’t stuck around Udina. He despises the man. I believe they once got into a bar fight._

_We love you._

_Britta_

* * *

 

_From: David Anderson_

_To: Steven Hackett_

_Subj: re: Commander Shepard._

_She went back to the Normandy after the Spectre ceremony._

_Why?_

_David_

* * *

 

"Doesn’t sound like a normal procedure to me." Ink frowned at Doctor Chakwas then over at the Admiral who had ordered a second round of scans. "I thought you said I was fine."

"Admiral Hackett is concerned the beacon might've had a lasting effect on you." She stepped closer to Ink who immediately moved back. "Commander."

"I'm fine."

" _Ink."_ Steven stared pointedly at her.

 _"Mulqvist,"_ she muttered.

"I am not a prick." He winked at her.

"Paska." Ink regretted helping him add some of her more colorful phrases to his translator. She scowled at him then hunched forward when the doctor brought the scanner over. “Shouldn’t I be in command of my own ship?”

“I command the fleet.” Hackett leaned over Chakwas’ shoulder to look at the report being generated. “Settle down, Ink.”

“Fish aren’t pushy.” Ink commented randomly after a moment. “They don’t argue either.”

“Yes, but they can’t kiss you.”

“There have been enough public displays of affection for the moment.” Ink’s scowl deepened as the doctor left to give them the room.

“Did we fluster you?” Hackett’s tone went from teasing to sympathetic. “I have a suggestion.”

“Does it involve fish?”

“No.”

“ _Paska._ ”

His suggestion ended up more like an order. Ink found herself firmly ensconced on the couch in Hackett’s temporary quarters on the Citadel between the two men. They’d put on one of her favorite movies and just _sat_ with her until she finally started to relax.

“Do you want to talk…”

“ _No._ ” Ink felt too far out of her comfort zone to want to talk about it. She needed space to deal with the new dynamics in her life. Her relationship up until now had been kept very separate from her career. She’d liked it that way. “Can we just…sit?”

“For as long as you need.”

 


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

Ink’s list of people to turn into fish bait had grown extensively in the past two days. The stupid reporter had jumped to the top of the list for asking about Ink’s relationship with Admiral Hackett and Zaeed Massani during what was supposed to be an interview about the _Normandy_ and her crew. Udina went right up close to the top as well. She pondered other names when Alenko informed her that they were almost at Edolus.

It was time to see if they could find any sign of Kahoku’s men.

Driving the Mako was _not_ one of her greatest skills, Ink tended to be a tad hard on the breaks. She let Garrus drive while she and Ashley played backseat drivers to annoy the turian. It was fine until she heard a screeching sound followed by the ground trembling. It was something terrifyingly familiar.

Shouting at Garrus to switch places with her, Ink scrambled into the driver’s seat and floored the vehicle. She spun it around hard enough to almost flip it. She immediately fired on the acid-spewing thresher maw that was now visible near the downed shuttle.

With another hard spin of the vehicle, Ink managed to dodge the acid and get another volley of at the creature. It took thirty minutes of gut-wrenching maneuvers to finally down the maw. Ashley looked a little green when Ink finally pulled the Mako over to investigate the dead marines.

“You are _never_ driving the damn thing again.” Ashley staggered out of the Mako with a groan. “ _Ever._ ”

Instead of wasting time arguing something she agreed with, Ink moved over to crouch next to the marines. Garrus inspected the signal that had lured the men into the trip. He wasn’t able to track it to the source, but at least they’d found out what happened and killed maw.

She was quiet on the way back to the _Normandy_ and immediately set a course for Feros since they’d already retrieved Doctor T’soni. She sent a message to Kahoku to give him a brief report on what they found of his marines. She slumped further down into her chair and closed her eyes.

_Thresher maws._

The nightmares Ink tended to have were filled with the sounds from Akuze. With a sigh, she reached out to open a chat window. It wouldn’t be long before Kristoffer found out about the thresher maws.

She was about to message him when Joker interrupted with a priority request from the Fifth Fleet to investigate missing scientists in the Kepler Verge. It compounded the events of the previous mission when he mentioned it might be related to Akuze. If the scientists had been responsible for the massacre of her squad, she might be more inclined to agree with the person taking them out.

* * *

 

_From: Ink Shepard_

_To: Steven Hackett_

_Subj: re: Corporal Toombs._

_He shot the scientist in self-defense. It’s in my report. Urdnot Wrex and Garrus Vakarian both witnessed the incident._

_Are you accusing us of lying, Admiral?_

_We’re heading to Feros._

_Ink_

* * *

 

_Inter-Relay Text Chat_

_Location: Attican Beta_

_From: Ink Shepard_

_To: Kristoffer Nolek_

_I: Kristoffer?_

_K: So, I understand you allowed a scientist to be shot._

_I: Paska. He was one of the men responsible for Akuze._

_K: Ahh. I must’ve misunderstood the report. I’m sure the scientist was accidentally shot._

_I: Multiple times._

_K: Hmm. Are you all right?_

_I: I killed a thresher maw._

_K: Was it cathartic?_

_I: No._

_K: Was watching the scientist die cathartic?_

_I: Maybe._

_K: I found a great piece of wood for you. It’s a beautiful dark wood, perfect for carving._

_I: Uhm. Thanks?_

_K: I thought you might want to head to Arcturus to pick it up. Britta’s doing research for her next book on Earth, but we could have dinner together._

_I: Kristoffer._

_K: See you at seven tomorrow._

_User has disconnected._

* * *

 

The mission to Feros took longer than Ink anticipated. She was worn out by the time the _Normandy_ docked on Arcturus. She trudged to the Nolek apartment and collapsed on the couch with a loud groan and little grace. She threatened Kristoffer with bodily harm when he tried to get her to sit up.

“Now is that anyway to treat the man who bought you wood?” Kristoffer ignored her grumbling and lifted her up into a seated position. He frowned when he finally got a better look at her. “You look like shit.”

“Paskiainen.” 

“Stop insulting my mother.” He winked at her. “Would you like me to make dinner or perhaps order in pizza?” 

“I am not fond of burnt toast and rubbery eggs.” Ink wrinkled her nose at him.  

“Ungrateful orphan.” He shot back at her.

“How about we get fish at that one restaurant you like?” 

“Kristoffer?” 

“ _Ink?_ ”  

“I found a fishing trawler for sale in Helsinki.” Ink ran her fingers along the grain of the wood he’d handed to her. “It needs work, but I could refurbish it easily in six months.” 

“Still thinking about not reenlisting when your tour is up?” 

Ink slouched back against the sofa cushions. “Maybe. With my aunt and the slimy bastard gone, I might like being on Earth for a while, enjoy the sea. I like fishing better than soldiering.” 

“Odd, odd girl.” 

“Paskiainen.“ 

“Be nice or I won’t buy dinner.” Kristoffer grabbed her arm to drag her off of the couch. “I don’t see why you can’t retire after you finish with Saren.” 

“What about being spectre?” Ink was worried about how the council would respond. “What about Steven?” 

“Screw ‘em both if they don’t like it. I’m sure Massani won’t care wither way.” Kristoffer groaned at his own words. “Not like that.” 

“I’m telling Britta you said that.” Ink laughed when he shoved her then wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “You could help.” 

“Hmmm.” He gave her a serious look. “I think, perhaps, you might want to have your two men help you with your project. Talk to them. They might surprise both of us.” 

“ _Kristoffer.”_

Running from the memories of your lost unit won’t bring them back, Ink.” He squeezed her shoulder. “If you really want to fish, Britta and I would both support you in that dream. I just don’t want to see you constantly running from everything.” 

“I do not…” 

“Think about it.” He cut her off while leading her toward the front door. “Let’s get dinner, I have a feeling your _Admiral_ will be looking for you with his husband in tow when they discover the _Normandy_ docked on the station."

“Pa…” 

“Don’t call me a son of a bitch again, it’s tiresome.” Kristoffer deflected her elbow when she tried to catch him in the ribs. “Let’s find food and you can tell me all about how running away to Earth isn’t running.” 

“Idiootti.” 

“And yet I still manage to outrank you.”

 


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mostly smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

_From: Steven_

_To: Zaeed_

_Subj: re: Goddamn idiot._

_If Ink wants to see us, she’ll see us. I think we both remember what happened the last time we pushed her._

_Do we really want a repeat so soon?_

_She dealt with thresher maws and a man she thought was dead. Let’s give her a little space. We’ll send her something to let her know we’re thinking about it._

_Meet me for breakfast?_

_Steven_

* * *

 

Hackett hadn’t expected to find Ink waiting outside of his office when he finished with breakfast with Zaeed. She stood awkwardly by his yeoman’s desk with a plate of deformed brownies in her hand. She held the plate out to him.

“Kristoffer thinks he can bake.” Ink grimaced at malformed treats. “He is mistaken.”

“Maybe he’s trying to poison us?” Hackett poked his finger into one of the overly dense brownies. “We’ll save them for Zaeed.”

“I actually think this was his way of showing…fatherly support.” Ink’s eyes fill momentarily with tears that never fell. Hackett set the brownies down and looped his arms around her waist to draw her closer. “It was… _sweet._ Nice.”

“Fish nice?”

Ink punched him on the chest lightly then smiled at him. “Better than fish, though I doubt they taste better.”

Hackett lifted the plate up to sniff the brownies. “Maybe we’ll leave them here for my yeoman. He annoyed me yesterday.”

“Are…” Ink forced her shoulders into a straighter line and met Hackett’s eyes. “Can you…I killed a thresher maw.”

“I know. I read your report.”

“Paska.” Ink looked like she felt overwhelmingly uncomfortable. “Am I interrupting anything important?”

He shifted his arm so he only had one around her and started walking away from his office. He answered her unspoken question when they were a few minutes from his quarters. “We wanted to give you space, but we’re always here for you whenever you need us.”

* * *

 

_From: Britta_

_To: Kristoffer_

_Subj: re: Brownies._

_I love you, sweetheart, but brownies are not supposed to smell burnt or look lumpy. What exactly did you do to my recipe?_

_Were you trying to help Ink?_

_Britta_

* * *

 

_From: Kristoffer_

_To: Britta_

_Subj: re: Brownies._

_Remind me to take you over my knee when you get home._

_Kristoffer_

* * *

 

Ink was sprawled across the couch in the men’s living room while they argued between themselves in the kitchen. She flipped channels to find something to watch. The brownies had _not_ survived the trip. She might have to _repay_ Kristoffer’s kindness at some point, maybe she could convince Britta to help her out with it.

She might not have to worry about it when Britta realized the mess Kristoffer had made of her kitchen.

Her thoughts of payback were interrupted by two men leaning against the back of the couch to look down at her. Ink captured Zaeed’s wrist when he reached out to grab a hold of her shirt. He grinned at her and used her own hold on his arm to lift her up. He wrapped his free arm around her and hefted her over the edge of the back of the sofa.

“You can cuss me out in goddamn Finnish later.” Zaeed covered her lips with his own when she started to speak. “ _Later_ , Ink.”

“What my husband is so eloquently attempting to explain is that we’d like to offer our own brand of comfort to you.” Hackett slid his hands gently into her blonde hair. He shook it free from the loose bun she’d wrapped it up in. “Let us, please?”

Ink covered Zaeed’s face with her hand and pushed him away from her so she could speak. “I never said _no_ , did I?”

“Ahh.” Hackett punched Zaeed in the arm and he dropped Ink who crashed to the floor between them.

She stayed down on her back and laughed at the two idiots who went back to arguing with each other. “Is this what comfort feels like? It’s more painful than I thought it would be.”

Reaching up to grab both of their hands, Ink dragged them down onto the floor with her.   Zaeed grabbed her by the waist and positioned her between them. His lips found the spot behind her ear that was incredibly sensitive while Hackett immediately went to work on removing first his own clothing and then hers. With his _mission_ accomplished, he eased her away from his husband to let him toss aside his jeans and t-shirt.

The two men captured one of her nipples each with their lips to tease her. Ink felt fingers drift along her side and over her hips before moving between her legs. They spread her thighs and played along the edges of where she wanted them to be. The tip of a finger scraped along the seam of her pussy, but it moved away when she lifted her hips off the floor.

_“Paska.”_

“All in good time.” Hackett placed his arm against the top of her thigh to keep her legs on the floor.

Ink wasn’t certain whose fingers were where as her head fell back as one pressed between her labia. She widened her legs to give them better access. They took full advantage of it. They alternated between one and three fingers at different speeds.   She was so close to the edge when they abruptly pulled out of her.

“What…”

She didn’t get to complete her thought however when Zaeed sat up and guided her over into his lap. His hands on her thighs pushed her down onto his cock. She groaned in satisfaction when she was fully pressed on him. She didn’t get a chance to say anything as he twisted her head to the side toward Hackett who was standing beside them. His cock bumped against her cheek before Zaeed turned her head further so her lips grazed against Hackett’s shaft.

Hackett traced her lips with his cock. He chuckled when Zaeed used his hand on Ink’s head to push her closer.   She was lost in the sensation of Zaeed driving up into her and the fingers toying with her nipples.   She barely had enough presence of mind to lick and suck on Hackett.

From the increased movements, Hackett clearly enjoyed what she was doing. She sucked harder on his cock while using the strength in her legs to ride Zaeed harder.   It had definitely been too long. She’d missed them, missed this too much.

When Zaeed tweaked on of her nipples, Ink moaned loudly around the cock in her mouth. The sensation was too much for Hackett. He pulled out to press between his husband’s lips instead. The sight of him coming on his husband pushed Ink over the edge. She leaned forward to share a kiss with Zaeed as she shuddered and trembled on his lap. He grabbed her by the hips to lift her up then shove her down hard one last time as he joined her.

“I like this comfort thing.” Ink collapsed against him with a breathy groan. “’s better than lumpy brownies and fish.”


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

_From: Hawk Wilson_

_To: Ink Shepard_

_Subj: Birthdays._

_No, Inkster, you can’t ignore your birthday._

_Get your frozen ass back to Arcturus when you’re done on Noveria. You can bring Ash and Kaidan with you, we’ll have drinks._

_Hawk_

* * *

 

_From: Hawk Wilson_

_To: Kristoffer Nolek_

_Subj: re: Ink’s Birthday._

_She’ll be there._

_I’m hiding behind you when she throws a punch, because she’s not going to be happy at being tricked into attending a birthday party._

_Hawk_

* * *

 

Kristoffer hadn’t initially planned on doing anything to celebrate Ink’s birthday. Britta usually curtailed his urges to do things like that, but she was off doing research for her next book. The last message she’d sent had been a few days ago. She was heading to a mine to get a tour of the inner works of the facility.

Trying to avoid her birthday was a yearly ritual for Ink, it started after she moved in with her aunt. Her birthdays had either been ignored or downright unpleasant. It culminated when her aunt had tried to sell her into marriage on her sixteenth before. There were times Kristoffer thought back to how everything could’ve ended up differently for her if she hadn’t stowed away on his ship.

The most Ink would normally agree to on her birthday was getting plastered with Hawk. He thought perhaps the vodka made her forget the nightmares. Ink liked to pretend she didn’t have them anymore, but he knew better. She might never admit it, but he thought perhaps it was why marriage terrified her so much.

He wasn’t in a particular hurry to have her marry herself off to anyone. He’d be perfectly happy if Ink never married as long as it was a decision she made out of desire and not out of fear.   She deserved more than spending her entire life hiding and running from things because of that bitch of an aunt.

The _party_ never happened.

Ink arrived on Arcturus the day after her birthday to find Kristoffer was in a panic. He never panicked, but he certainly felt as if he was. Britta never followed up with him. The ship that had dropped her off at the mine had disappeared into thin air. No one seemed to know where it or she had gone, and no one was able to remember where the hell the mine was.

His beloved wife of many, many years had vanished without any trace of where she’d gone. The last sign anyone had of Britta was vid of her boarding a transport on Elysium.   She’d changed ships on another planet, but there was no footage of it.

She was just _gone._

“I’m going to find her.” Ink had immediately started back to the _Normandy_ only to have both Hackett and Kristoffer stop her.

“You can’t, the council….”

“Fuck the council.” Ink swore sharply. She continued rambling on in Finnish for a few minutes. “She’s…I have to go find her.”

“ _Commander Shepard._ ” Hackett switched into his _Admiral_ voice. His gaze softened when Ink snapped to attention. “You’re a council spectre. There’s a rogue spectre out there trying to start a war. Let Kristoffer handle the search for Britta. We _need_ you to stop Saren.”

“ _Paska._ ”

“Remember when I told you being an adult was a pain in the ass?” Kristoffer hugged her tightly. “This is one of those moments. Hawk’s coming with me. I’ll find her.”

“You better.” Ink shoved him away from her. “I need _both_ of my parents.”

Hackett cleared his throat… _loudly_ when both Kristoffer and Ink became choked up. He looked over at Kristoffer. “Take Team Delta with you. They specialize in these types of missions.”

* * *

 

_From: Kristoffer Nolek_

_To: Ink Shepard_

_Subj: Nothing._

_Two weeks, I haven’t found a damn thing._

_Hackett’s kept me updated on your progress. I know it was hard losing Ash on Virmire. I’m sorry I’m not there with you. Keep your head on straight. You can beat Saren._

_I’m heading closer to the Terminus systems. Maybe Britta strayed too close?_

_I have to find her._

_Stay safe._

_Kristoffer_

* * *

 

_From: Hawk Wilson_

_To: Ink Shepard_

_Subj: Mutiny._

_You stole the damn ship._

_You’re my hero. Can I have your autograph?_

_Hawk_

* * *

 

Kristoffer sat in his quarters looking over maps and reports. His head was pounding from lack of sleep. He’d spent weeks and weeks hunting down every possible lead to find his wife and come up empty handed each time. He couldn’t imagine how the hell no one knew where Britta had gone after Elysium. People didn’t just _vanish_.

With Saren dead and the Reaper threat handled, Ink had wanted to join him. She had command of the best ship in the Alliance navy.   The council had over-ruled her decision even with Hackett trying to argue that she’d done enough for them and deserved a break. They wanted her to continue following down the remaining Geth all as a part of keeping the knowledge of the Reapers from the public.

The entire situation had left a bad taste in Ink’s mouth. She’d threatened to file her discharge papers immediately. Kristoffer talked her out of it. It was too early for her to retire and start her little fishery.   They’d argued about it quite a bit.

He never realized how much he’d regret the decision a week later when Hawk rushed into his quarters without even bothering to knock. He was about to dress the young officer down when Hawk moved over to his terminal to pull up an ANN report on the extra-net. The two men listened in horror as they realized the ship being talked about was the _Normandy_.

Shoving Hawk out of his way, Kristoffer raced out of his quarters up to the CIC. He set a course for the system mentioned on the news report. With that handled, he turned to head into the comm room to contact Arcturus. He was finally put through to Hackett whose expression told him everything he needed to know.

“When?”

“A few hours ago.” Hackett ran his hand across his face a few times. “I was about to contact you. We’re…looking for her body.”

“Body?” Kristoffer clenched his hands around the railing in front of him to keep from dropping to his knees. “Are you certain that it’s retrieval and not rescue?”

“Jeff Moreau saw her get blasted into the sky.”

He fell to his knees then despite his desperate grip on the railing. “I can’t lose them both.”

“I’m sorry.” Hackett spoke into the heavy silence that followed. “I…”

“I need my wife and my daughter. I don’t need empty words.” Kristoffer reached up and slammed his hand on the panel to disconnect the comm. He shifted around to sit with his back against the wall. “What the hell do I do now?”


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

Waking up on the Lazarus Station had been disorienting, Ink’s confusion only increased when she ran into Jacob Taylor who in a rushed whisper informed her ‘Kristoffer sent him.’ There wasn’t time to talk about it more. The mention of Kristoffer’s name did help to center her nerves.   She even managed to make it through her first meeting without muttering ‘kusipää’ once.

When Ink finally had control of the _Normandy_ , she told Joker to head for Alchera. Jacob had mentioned on Freedom’s Progress that she might want to make the crash site of her original ship their first stop. It seemed even the Illusive Man respected the dead somewhat. She could not only have a little privacy, but he promised to explain everything.

She’d wanted to go to the Citadel first to find Anderson. He could tell her how _all_ of the important men in her life were doing. Her heart had broken a little when her cursory search on the extranet revealed Britta was still missing. It must’ve been incredibly painful for her adopted father to go through two losses alone.

They arrived on the desolate planet and Jacob left Ink to explore the wreckage on her own. When she finally returned, he guided the shuttle off planet. He explained Joker had moved to a nearby system to scan planets for minerals. The tracker on the Kodiak was temporarily malfunctioning so they could dock with a nearby Alliance vessel without causing suspicion.

Jacob told her how he’d been in one of Kristoffer’s training classes early in his Alliance career. The man had been a mentor to him. His loyalty to the Alliance might have been transferred to Cerberus, but he would always remain true to Kristoffer.

She wasn’t really listening to him any longer.

_Alliance Ship._

Ink stared down at the logo on her armor in disgust. She didn’t want anyone who mattered to see her in it. It already felt as if she were spitting on the graves of not only the crew on the original _Normandy_ , but her unit from Akuze as well. It had weighed heavily on her mind for the past few days. She was going to have to buy a new set when they arrived on the Citadel. She started to make a list of all the things she’d need to _appropriate_ funds and missed the fact they’d already docked on the ship.

“Ink.”

Shutting her omni-tool down, Ink lifted her head to find Kristoffer’s tall, broad-shouldered frame filling the open doorway to the Kodiak. He appeared as frozen in place as she felt. She heard him mutter under his breath about at least having one of them back then he sank down on the seat next to hers. He slung an arm across her shoulders.

“Do _not_ do that again.”

“Huh?”

“Die.” He stared sternly at her. “Avoid it in the future.”

Ink leaned heavily against him as she forced out a hard laugh. “I’ll do my best.”

“There are a few others out there waiting for you.” Kristoffer continued on as if they weren’t both awkwardly trying to scrub away the tears on their cheeks. “But I’m your _Dad,_ I got first dibs on saying I love you. And I’ll have you know I was remarkably nice to those idiots of yours.”

“ _Kristoffer.”_

“Oh, that reminds me.” He pointed to a bag he’d left just inside the shuttle. “Non-Cereberus fatigues and other things that you might appreciate, there’s also a set of N7 armor waiting for you.”

“ _Paska.”_ Ink gave up on hiding her tears. “Thank you.”

“I went fishing in Helsinki,” Kristoffer remarked casually. He stretched his arm out and she noticed a new tattoo on his forearm. It had her name and Britta’s on a ship’s anchor. “I bought a small cottage near the shore outside of the city and moved this wreck of a ship to it. It was slowly disintegrating into the sea. I didn’t want to risk it being eroded completely.”

“You…” Ink felt her throat close up on her. He’d saved her father’s old boat even though she was dead. He’d done it for her. “I… _Kristoffer._ ”

“It was the best memorial I could give you.” He smiled sadly at her. “I didn’t have either of your bodies. I didn’t…where do you go to mourn when there’s no grave? I had to do something.”

“I’m so sorry about Britta.” Ink let him drag her into a hug even though her armor made it a little uncomfortable. “Love you.”

“Why don’t you get changed and meet us in the shuttle bay?” He stepped outside after hitting the button to close the door to give her privacy.

Changing quickly out of the Cerberus gear, Ink pulled on a familiar set of dark blue N7 fatigues. He’d even included her favorite jogging gear. She found a familiar rectangle shaped box at the bottom of the bag. She lifted it out to find her carving knives along with a few small pieces of wood.

_He’d kept them._

_All of them._

It looked exactly like Ink had left it in her apartment before heading off to join the _Normandy._ They were all there, even her grandfather’s knife. She ran her fingers reverently along the tools.

The only thing different about the tool box was it was now lined in a soft fabric. Ink looked more closely at it. She finally realized it was maritime signal flag for ‘man overboard.’ Her grandfather had taught her long ago all the different flags used on sailing vessels. She wondered where Kristoffer had found one.

She set the box carefully back into the bag. Her fingers bumped against a smaller package. She retrieved it and found a new omni-tool with a note to keep it away from the Cerberus crew aside from Jacob, Karin and Joker.  

* * *

 

_From: Hawk Wilson_

_To: Ink Shepard_

_Subj: Inkster._

_You ever die on me again and I’m desecrating your grave._

_I’ll see you on the Citadel. Head there after your little visit with Kristoffer and your men. They’ve all been miserable bastards since you died. I’ve been drowning my sorrows in vodka._

_So I’m glad you’re back._

_Stop hiding in the shuttle staring at your new omni-tool. Zaeed and Steven want to see you._

_Love,_

_Hawk_

_P.S. Need a shuttle pilot?_


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I needed something happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

Allowing Ink privacy to change had required Kristoffer to let her out of his sight; it wasn’t something he’d been ready for. He paced the shuttle bay as they waited for her to change. Jacob had gone up to the crew mess to allow the three men to have their reunion with Ink alone.

Massani and Hackett stood side by side not far from the Kodiak. They’d been silent since the Cerberus shuttle landed, completely silent. It was unsettling. They stood shoulder to shoulder with an arm around each other. Kristoffer assumed it was to offer each other strength. It’s what he would’ve been doing if Britta was there.

They’d have clung together happy to have their adopted daughter back.

_God he missed his wife._

The sound of the door opening drew his attention over to the shuttle. Ink moved uncertainly out of it with her shoulders hunched forward. She hesitated after her first few steps. Her eyes flicked from Kristoffer over to Massani and Hackett.

For two years, Kristoffer had observed the weight of grief on the two men.  He’d recognized it easily since his was doubled with the loss of his wife and daughter. He disappeared into the elevator to join Jacob and allow Ink to have a moment alone with them.

* * *

 

_From: Kristoffer Nolek_

_To: Hawk Wilson_

_Subj: re: The Normandy._

_Ink will need to lull the Cerberus-loyal crew into a false sense of security before we do anything. She’ll recruit Zaeed on Omega with the salarian scientist and archangel. Liara has already contacted both of them. It turns out the latter is Garrus Vakarian, so we don’t need to worry about where his loyalties reside._

_Chakwas informs me the engineers will follow Ink. The main problem will be her XO, Lawson, and Kelly Chambers._

_Your idea about sudden sickness is a good one. I’ll speak with Zaeed about it. If she’s in the sick bay the entire time, we won’t have to worry about her sending reports to The Illusive Man._

_We need the Illusive Man to reveal more of his plan to Ink and for him to believe it’s working at least through the first few missions. Once we have the data on the Omega-4 Relay, Ink can break with him and you and I will join the crew. I’ll take over as XO, if Lawson refuses to cooperate, we’ll drop her ass off on Omega with Chambers._

_Keep your go-bag ready._

_Kristoffer_

* * *

 

Ink had remained frozen in place while the elevator closed on Kristoffer. She didn’t know how to approach either of the men who looked as if they were holding each other to keep themselves standing up. She shrugged her shoulders to loosen them and looked helplessly over at them.

“ _Paska._ I…” She stammered to a stop feeling utterly hopeless.

Her hesitant attempt to break the silence forced them into action. The men strode across the room until they stood in front of her. Two sets of arms wound tightly around her and Ink was smothered between them.   Her height allowed her to rest her forehead against Steven’s as Zaeed crowded her from behind.

“You made the goddamn Admiral speechless.” Zaeed dragged his stubbled cheek against her neck. “I like it when the bastard’s silent, though no more fucking dying.”

“Shut up and kiss her.” Hackett glared at his husband.

“Happily.” Zaeed shifted his lips from the side of her neck up to her mouth. “Goddamn missed you, Sweetheart.”

“Really, Massani? So much you forgot I don’t like nicknames,” she teased. She had to find stable ground for her emotions.

“Okay, _Inkera.”_

“Idiootti.” She rolled her eyes when he turned her head to the side so her lips found Hackett’s. “Did you miss me too?”

Pulling her mouth away from Hackett, Ink dropped her head against the top of his shoulder. She’d been trying to hold all of her emotions in check since coming back to life. The arms holding her tall frame up provided a warmth and comfort she couldn’t ignore. She dug her fingers into Zaeed’s arm to keep him close.

“I remember dying so vividly. “Ink brought her other hand up to rest on Hackett’s neck. “I was so… _paska…_ ”

“We’ve been waiting for you, even if we needed to wait to see you on the other side of life,” Hackett said quietly.

Ink eased out form between the men and lifted the dogtag chain from inside Hackett’s shirt. She wasn’t surprised to find he still had the engagement ring they’d tried to give her on it. They watched in surprise as she removed the ring and slid it on her finger.

“Ink?” Hackett took her hand; his thumb shifted the ring around on her finger. “You said…”

“Pelkäsin.” She took a breath and forced her shoulders to straighten. “I gave my aunt so much power. I let her win because I was too afraid to risk everything.”

“Sweetheart,” Zaeed tried to interrupt.

“Suu kiinni.” Ink snapped at him to shut up. She had to get all of it out while she still remembered dying with such a brutal clarity. “I kept thinking while I tried to stop the leak in my suit how much of an idiootti I’d been. I love you. This was important to you, this engagement thing.”

“You don’t…”

“I think I must.” Ink glanced down at the ring on her finger. “I belong here.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reference: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/94492033086/14k-gold-1-1-2ct-tdw-diamond-3-stone-engagement


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning, I am au'ing portions of the ME2 and ME3 storylines a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

Two days.

It had only taken two days for Zaeed to decide Kelly Chambers needed to be gone soon. The yeoman kept prying into Ink’s personal life. He’d damn near tossed the nosy bitch out of the airlock when she dared bring up Ink’s goddamn aunt. The only thing that stopped him was he knew she’d be off the ship within a week or two anyway.

Chakwas had already figured out the easiest way to infect Chambers with a curable, but highly contagious virus. It would require weeks of quarantine before she would be well enough to travel with them again. Zaeed believed it was enough time for them to complete at least the larger part of their plan to grab the _Normandy_ right out from under the Illusive Man’s nose.

With everything wrapped up on Omega and the surrounding systems, Ink had set a course for the Citadel. Zaeed followed her up to the first deck to their quarters. He wasn’t surprised when she immediately began to work on one of her carvings.

Woodwork seemed to help to settle her mind. Zaeed sat beside her on the couch to go through the files they’d found on Lorek. They’d found information on the scientists responsible for Akuze as well as documents mentioning a mining facility in the Aysur system. The files were corrupted and Liara was trying to work on determine what had been lost.

Ink suggested sending it to Kristoffer to follow up on. They couldn’t do anything themselves with the Illusive Man still monitoring everything. Zaeed couldn’t wait for the moment they could stick it to the bastard.

“You all right, sweetheart?” Zaeed frowned when she viciously cut through her finishing carving. He stared down at the destroyed pieces littering the floor. “Ink?”

“I want to go to Helsinki to smell the sea and shiver in the cold breeze. I’m longing for fresh baked Pulla.” She closed her carving knife and set it aside. “Kristoffer told me about the cottage he bought outside of the city by the sea. He said you and Steven helped him refurbish my father’s old boat.”

“We did.”

“Kiitos,” she murmured her thanks. She punched him in the arm a moment later. “What have I told you about the sweetheart thing?”

“Sorry, sweetheart. But you’re so goddamn sweet and you have my heart, so you’re just going to have to deal with it.” He caught her arm when she went to elbow him again. “Do you…”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence as EDI interrupted to let them know Lawson was snooping around in the Med Bay. Since they’d secretly unshackled the AI, it had been surprisingly helpful with keeping an eye on the crew and what was being sent to the Illusive Man.

* * *

 

_From: Kristoffer_

_To: Ink_

_Subj: Doctor Bryson._

_Your Admiral apparently had Bryson working on a special project investigating the Reapers. It started a few months ago; they’ve managed to do impressive work in a short amount of time._

_The mine you found mentioned in the Ceberus’ files was also on a report Bryson sent to Hackett a week ago. He lost contact with one of his researchers, a Garneau, I believe, who he sent to investigate. Hawk and I are moving our timetable up a little so we can go to the mine now._

_Bryson’s main concerns have to do with indoctrination and to that end he’s been working on developing a device with the ability to shield someone’s mind for short periods of time. Guess who gets to test the damn things?_

_You know how much I love new technology._

_If I hear one more crack about my age from your damn buddy, I’m tossing him out the airlock on an isolated asteroid somewhere. Would you miss him?_

_He’s a pain in the ass._

_Kristoffer_

* * *

 

_From: Hawk Wilson_

_To: Ink Shepard_

_Subj: re: pain in the ass._

_Who me? I have no idea what Kristoffer is blathering about._

_Look, I know you’re finishing up on Purgatory right now. I tried sending you a hail on the secure vid-comm, Joker told me where you were._

_The thing is that you need to head to the Citadel as soon as you’re back on the ship. I can’t tell you more over the extra-net._

_We found a bunch of indoctrinated miners and other individuals at the facility. We destroyed this blue orb that appears to work as a conduit of some sort. I don’t fucking know, Bryson was drooling all over the find. The people appear to be fine though confused since they have years and years that are a complete blank._

_You need to get to the Citadel like fucking now._

_There’s someone you need to see._

_Hawk_


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

_From: Ink Shepard_

_To: Hawk Wilson_

_Subj: Traitor._

_I can’t believe you won’t tell me what is going on._

_Why is everyone being so tight-lipped?_

_Ink_

* * *

 

Stepping into the small apartment the Council had offered for quarantine, Kristoffer found his lovely wife sitting on the couch with a datapad in hand. She’d only lost two years compared to the almost nine years of the others on the asteroid. She had spent the past few days catching up on current events. There had really only been _one_ serious event that had mattered to her—Ink’s death. It was something she handled with her usual pragmatic wit.

“So how badly have you destroyed our kitchen at home?” Britta teased when he bent down for a kiss. She raised her hand to block his attempt for a second one. “How is Inkera _really_ doing?

Kristoffer sat down beside her with a heavy sigh. He was truthfully very worried about Ink, even with Zaeed and others they could trust on the ship with her. She tended to distance herself from deeper emotions. He’d been growing more concerned lately that she wasn’t dealing with her _resurrection_ and being tied to Cerberus as well as everyone believed.

“You worry?” Britta reached out to cup his cheek with her hand and smiled knowingly up at him. “You lost so much, Kris. I’m so very sorry for how utterly lonely you must’ve been. It breaks my heart to know you had to deal with her death alone.”

_Typical of his wife._

He had spent two years with a sense of resignation to it all. Britta managed in seconds to reduce his tough façade into nothing but dust. His fingers grasped her by the arms to pull her over into his lap. If his tears were buried in her hair, they didn’t exist in his mind. She wound her own arms around his neck.

“So…” Her fingers threaded through his short, greying hair. “How badly did you wreck my kitchen? I noticed how you conveniently avoided answering earlier.”

Kristoffer barked out a harsh laugh while swallowing around the lump in his throat. “I can cook.”

“Toast and coffee do not count. I didn’t marry you for your amazing culinary skills.” Britta tilted his head back so they could look into each other’s eyes. She gently brushed her lips against a traitorous tear on his cheek. “I married you for the massive heart you try to hide by growling at everyone. I fell in love with the sweet man hidden behind a gruff marine. You’ve been an amazing husband, even if you can’t boil an egg without setting fire to the stove.”

 _“Britta.”_ Ink’s stunned exclamation took both of them by surprise. “ _Vittujen kevät ja kyrpien takatalvi.”_

Kristoffer raised an eyebrow at the lengthy Finnish curse. “That’s a new one.”

“Loose translation? Holy fucking shit,” Ink muttered. She looked between the couple on the couch. “ _Paska.”_

“Damn Massani, I told him to let me know when you arrived.” Kristoffer hadn’t intended to spring Britta on Ink in such a sudden fashion. He wanted to explain everything in person, and then bring her in. He moved from the couch over to the tall blonde standing a little unsteadily by the door. “Remember when Britta mentioned she wanted to research mining for her next book? Turns out she went to the mine where this Leviathan creature was using indoctrination to keep control of the miners.”

“ _Paska.”_

He watched as Ink forced her shoulders back and closed her eyes for a brief moment. Not wanting her to retreat into herself or run, he took another step forward until he could wrap his arms around her.   She tensed in his arms then clung to him. He wasn’t sure if she’d cried at all since her return. Britta’s sudden reappearance seemed to trigger the floodgates for her as it had for him earlier.

“How long before you think we can get her to bake something for us?” Kristoffer asked after giving Ink several long minutes to sob on his shoulder. “I vote for brownies. Hers are much better than mine.”

“That’s because you broke a tooth trying to eat yours.” Ink chuckled before pushing out of his embrace. She strode across the room to where Britta was watching. The two women exchanged a tearful hug. “Are you well? Truly?”

“Physically she’s as beautifully perfect as she ever was.” Kristoffer answered for his wife. “I’ve been trying to catch her up on the two years she missed.”

“I’m….Oh. My. God.” Britta exclaimed loudly when she caught sight of the ring on Ink’s finger. “You said yes.”

“I did.”

“Oh. My. God.” Britta hugged her even more tightly. Kristoffer shook his head with a laugh as his wife started to ramble on about planning a wedding and finding a dress. She stopped at the shuttered look on Ink’s face. “Oh sweetheart, aren’t you happy?”

_“Very.”_

“So happy that you’re terrified it’s going to blow up in your face?” Britta always understood things better than Kristoffer. He’d known something was stressing Ink about the damn engagement. It was yet another reason to be glad for his beloved wife’s return. “I’ll plan the wedding. You work with my Kristoffer to resolve this Cerberus issue.”

“Nothing too crazy.”

“I promise,” Britta agreed with a laugh.

* * *

 

_From: Steven_

_To: Zaeed_

_Subj: re: Ink._

_And she agreed to let Britta plan the wedding?_

_I’m not sure if I feel comforted or terrified by that particular news._

_How’s our girl doing? I know Kristoffer mentioned she had a long, private conversation with Britta which seemed to help her greatly. Is she sleeping better now?_

_How long before you arrive planet side to meet up with Warlord Okeer?_

_I almost have everything in place to deal with Cerberus once and for all. Anderson has smoothed things over remarkably well with the Council. I think the strong stance we’re prepared to take against Cerberus might be helping the cause._

_Doctor T’soni believes you’ll be heading for Illium after dealing with Okeer. I think I’d suggest Horizon instead. We’ve picked up chatter that The Illusive Man is letting slip about the colony. I know we have an Alliance marine on the ground there, but I think we need a larger presence._

_Love you both._

_Steven_

* * *

 

_From: Britta Nolek_

_To: Hawk Wilson_

_Subj: Man of Honor._

_I assume Ink will want you to be her…man of honor._

_Will you help me plan everything? I don’t want to make it into such a huge event that Ink runs for the hills. I want it to be something she enjoys._

_I’m thinking it should be a very small, private wedding._

_I’m looking into places in Helsinki and the surrounding areas that might work for the ceremony and reception. Kristoffer says his little cottage there would work nicely for the honeymoon._

_Do you have any suggestions?_

_If you breathe a word of the plans to her, young man, I will turn you into stew._

_Britta_


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

_From: Kaidan Alenko_

_To: Hawk Wilson_

_Subj: Horizon._

_Do you know if it worked?_

_Will you tell Ink I’m sorry I had to be so abrupt with her? Admiral Nolek impressed upon me the importance of treating her as if I considered her to be a traitor. I know she isn’t, but I’m hoping I didn’t go overboard._

_I’m heading off to meet up with my biotic unit._

_Kaidan_

* * *

 

_From: Britta Nolek_

_To: Hawk Wilson_

_Subj: re: The Wedding._

_You and I both know Ink won’t care about the wedding dress or decorations, aside from wanting it to be comfortable._

_I think I’ve found the perfect dress. It’s got no lace or frills or flowers, and it’ll fit her tall frame perfectly. The tailoring on it is perfect; you know how Ink loves all things tailored with simple lines._

_That girl is going to drive me insane if Kristoffer doesn’t do it first. No mocking my husband either, he might break you in half and then who would do all the grunt work for me?_

_Britta_

* * *

 

Ink and Zaeed sat side by side on the couch on the first deck and meticulously cleaned their weapons in preparation for heading to the disabled collector vessel. They wanted to be prepared for anything since EDI had informed them something was suspicious about the information the Illusive Man had given them. The rest of the crew, aside from Joker, hadn’t been told about it since this could be the perfect opportunity to demonstrate the true nature of Cerberus and its leader.

“You all right, sweetheart?” Zaeed asked after noticing Ink had cleaned the same rifle barrel five times already. Her gaze seemed to be on her bare arms and not the weapon in her hands. “Ink?

“It’s very odd not having tattoos.” Ink finally set the rifle barrel down and twisted her arm around. “Each of them had a story; it feels as if the stories have all been erased.”

“Get the goddamn tattoos again,” he shrugged.

Ink frowned sadly at him as she moved to put her weapons back together. “It would be as if I were rewriting the stories. The images were my way of coming to terms with things from the past. How can I revisit them?”

Wiping his hands on a cloth, Zaeed shifted sidewise so he was facing Ink. He rested his hands on her forearms to pull her attention toward him. She tried to shrug him off when he told her that she could get new tattoos.

“It’s a fresh goddamn slate, sweetheart. You can write whatever the hell you want on it.” He didn’t try to hold her when Ink pulled away and moved over to stand in front of her empty aquarium.

She’d claimed the idea of caging fish bothered her. Zaeed tried to point out that her greatest pleasure in life involved fishing which ended the life of the bloody creatures. She rolled her eyes and said at least in the water they had a fighting chance.

_Bloody fish._

“Is it really as simple as starting over?” Ink twisted around to lean against the fish tank. “I haven’t started over though, have I? It feels like I’m the same person shoved into a different body and I don’t know how to make this one fit.”

Zaeed stepped around the coffee table over to her. His fingers wandered up along her thighs and sides until he could rest them on her shoulders. “You feel the goddamn same to me.”

“ _Zaeed._ ”

“Hmm?”

“Idiootti.”

“How does that make me a goddamn idiot?” He leaned in to bite her bottom lip, but found himself blocked by her forearm. “ _Ink.”_

“You’re an idiot if you think smooth talking is going to make all of this better while there are still extra eyes watching everything we do on this ship.” Ink punched him lightly in the stomach when he licked her arm. “ _Paska._ ”

The two of them were fairly evenly matched in height and strength. Zaeed went to drag her forward and Ink responded by taking him down to the ground. She knelt over him with her legs pressing against his shoulders to keep him down.

“You know, sweetheart, if you weren’t wearing trousers, this would be a hell of a lot of fun.” Zaeed grinned at her.

“ _Idiootti.”_

“So you bloody said.”

* * *

 

_From: Zaeed Massani_

_To: Steven Hackett_

_Subj: Ink._

_She needs some goddamn time away from the ship, or we need to make the break from Cerberus. The constant worry about monitoring devices is getting to her and there isn’t a fucking thing I can actually do about it._

_We can’t really talk about it anywhere on the ship._

_And we don’t have the time to stop on the Citadel anytime soon. She wants to deal with the collector vessel and then head to Illium to meet up with T’soni._

_You know that tattoo artist buddy of mine? The crazy one who you hate with a passion? Go see him when you get a chance. I’ve figured out the perfect wedding present for our girl._

_Love you,_

_Zaeed_


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, short chapter is short. I'm just trying to get back in the groove of things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

The disabled collector vessel had been a blessing in disguise. The Illusive Man’s obvious betrayal was impossible to ignore. It allowed Ink to convince the rest of the crew to ‘jump ship’ with their loyalties.

With the Illusive an essentially cut out of the loop, EDI and Miranda worked together to feed him false reports. Ink felt a massive sense of relief at finally having the monitoring devices on the ship shut down for good. She no longer wanted to hide in the shower all the time.

Ink sat on the couch in her quarters with a piece of wood in her hand. She pulled out her carving knife and started to work on the image in her mind. Her dreams had been haunted by the flaming wreckage of the original _Normandy._ She tried to recreate it in wood for the fourth time. The other three attempts had been complete failures that she’d shoved into the disposal.

“I don’t think the carving is going to get the dreams out of your head, Sweetheart.” Zaeed stepped out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist. “Why don’t you try something else? Give the ship a goddamn rest.”

“I can’t.”

“Ink…”

“Just… _paska._ ” She forced herself to remain calm; it was never wise to lose her temper while carving. “Let me be, Zaeed.”

He walked over and crouched in front of her. His towel slid up to give her a great view of his cock. She averted her eyes to focus on the carving. “I can’t ‘let you be,’ Sweetheart. I love you. The trouble with being in love is that I can’t bloody leave you alone when I know you’re in pain.”

“Pain?” Ink didn’t resist when Zaeed eased the knife and carving from her hands. “I want this all over so I can spend some time on the water, and not in the sky.”

“Steven has a plan.”

“I don’t want his plan.” Ink had spent a lot of time considering her options once the Collector’s had been dealt with. “I’m not re-enlisting.   Olen väsynyt. I’m beyond tired. The Alliance should find another war horse to hang their hopes on.”

“What do _you_ want to do?” Zaeed gripped her knees firmly as he sat on the coffee table across from her.   “We’ll support whatever goddamn plan you have.”

“I want to fish and whittle.” Ink snagged her barely started carving. “My hands are tired of fighting.”

“Your hands?”

“ _Zaeed.”_

He winked at her as he slid his hands up the inside of her legs. “The goddamn monitoring devices are gone, Sweetheart.”

“What about Steven?”

“Bastard husbands always complicating things,” Zaeed grumbled.

Ink shoved his hands away and stretched out on her back on the couch.   Zaeed shifted her over so he could join her. They grumbled at each other and finally she knocked him on to the floor.

“We’re too tall for the couch.” She grabbed him by the arm to drag him over to the bed. “If you insist on _cuddling_ , we’ll do it on the bed.”

Zaeed yanked the towel from around his waist and swatted her on the ass with it. “That’s all the bloody hell you can think to do on a bed?”

“ _Zaeed.”_

* * *

 

_From: Zaeed_

_To: Steven_

_Subj: Ink._

_I’m telling you, Steven, something’s not right with our girl._

_The goddamn monitoring devices are gone, but she’s still acting like they’re still on the ship. I’m not fucking equipped to deal with in depth emotional shit. That’s your job._

_I told her we should head to the Citadel before we do anything else._

_Meet us there?_

_Zaeed_


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

Hackett thought perhaps it was losing several members of her crew to the collector which caused Ink to withdraw back into herself. She had blown up the collector base after saving everyone she could then ordered Joker to head to the Citadel. Everyone had focused their efforts on repairing the damaged _Normandy_ , but Ink hopped on the first transport for Earth—Helsinki to be exact.

She’d left a note, of course, on the bed for Zaeed to find. It said she was done shooting people and certainly done being responsible for saving them. Her mind was made up and nothing they said would change it.

Deciding it was pointless to argue with her about it, Hackett immediately ordered both Kristoffer and Hawk to take charge of getting the _Normandy_ to Earth for retro-fitting. He also ordered Team Delta to handle rescuing Doctor Kenson, a mission he’d intended to give to Ink.

_The truth was Hackett would rather the Alliance lose one war-weary Commander than risk losing Ink._

The Alliance was larger than one Commander.  

Once Hackett had gotten things settled, he joined Zaeed on an Alliance cruiser bound for Earth.   They wanted to check in on Ink. Britta had paid her a visit, but hadn’t come away from it feeling very mollified in her concerns.

When the two men arrived at the small cottage Ink was staying at, Hackett suddenly understood Britta’s increased fears. Ink sat on step outside of the small home surrounded by ruined carvings and a carpet of wood shavings. He was about to get her attention when she drove her knife into the ground at her feet with a loud sigh.

“Having a problem, Sweetheart?” Zaeed beat him to the punch.

“I heard your skycar land five minutes ago.” Ink stretched her long legs out in front of her and leaned back on her elbows with her face tilted toward the sun. “If you are here to express concern for my mental well-being, you can go back the way you came. _Paska._ Just because I left the Alliance doesn’t mean I lost my mind. I already told Britta that I’m fine.”

Hackett crouched beside her. He reached up to run his finger gently along the dark shadows under her eyes. “You _aren’t_ fine, Ink.”

“Why are you here?” Ink shielded her eyes with her hand as she opened them to glare at Hackett then Zaeed. “Shouldn’t you be preparing for the reapers?”

“I will be.” Hackett took her by the shoulders to pull her up into a seated position. “Zaeed’s going to stay when I return to Arcturus.”

“Do I appear to need a babysitter?” Ink eased her knife out of the ground and wiped it off on her cargo pants. She grabbed a piece of wood and started carving. “I came here for peace and quiet.”

“We can be as blood quiet as you need us to be,” Zaeed promised.

Ink snorted at him in response. “Quiet? You?”

* * *

 

_From: Kristoffer Nolek_

_To: Britta Nolek_

_Subj: re: Ink._

_I think Arcturus should be safe enough for you, unless you want to go to the Citadel? Or Helsinki with Ink and Zaeed?_

_From all of our intel, we have a few months before the reapers arrive. Not sure I believe the idiots in the decryption department though._

_I’m stuck in Vancouver dealing with the defense committee._

_There are still transports leaving Arcturus if you want to join me on the Normandy?_

_I love you._

_Kristoffer_

_P.S. Yes, I am worried about Ink. There’s just not much I can do about if she won’t talk to me._

* * *

 

_From: Hawk_

_To: Ink_

_Subj: re: Kristoffer._

_He’s a grumpy bastard, more than your Massani._

_Why aren’t you talking to him? He hasn’t done anything stupid in ages._

_We’re getting some weird ass readings from space. I’m thinking the reapers are pushing forward with their attack. You better keep your ass safe, and keep Massani close._

_I hear a bunch of weapons went missing from the Alliance armory in Helsinki. Know anything about it?_

_Hawk_

 


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

_From: Zaeed_

_To: Steven_

_Subj: re: Safe._

_We made it to the goddamn bunker left over from the paranoia of the First Contact War. Ink spent the past three weeks stocking and fortifying the place. I told her it was a waste of time. I don’t like being fucking wrong._

_We’ve got weapons, food and a few other survivors we rescued from husks on the way out of the city._

_No goddamn clue how long the bunker will be safe, but we don’t have any other bloody choice. The city’s locked down. It’s too late to leave; they were shooting anything that attempt to fly._

_We love you. Stay fucking stay._

_Zaeed_

* * *

 

The Reapers hit which sent the Alliance into chaos and hell. It was worse than anything he’d seen in the First Contact War or during the Geth War. They’d stood a chance in both of those. This was on a scale that he couldn’t even begin to quantify.

Kristoffer and Hawk had safely made it away from Vancouver with the Normandy and her crew. They’d both been frantic for news on Ink and Britta. Hackett was at least able to assure them Ink was fine, he had no news on Britta. She was supposed to head to the Citadel to speak with the team he’d assigned to do further research on Leviathan, but hadn’t heard anything from her.

It was a relief when Kristoffer messaged Hackett to let him know he’d found his wife on the Citadel. It was _less_ of a relief when a week later they lost contact with the both Alliance post in Helsinki and the survivors hiding in the bunker. He felt the bottom fall out of his stomach when he realized there was nothing he could do to help them.

* * *

 

_From: Kristoffer_

_To: Britta_

_Subj: re: Ink._

_We haven’t heard anything from her either._

_She’s a stubborn woman and a survivor and so is Massani. I’m sure they’ll be fine. And yes, that’s what I’m telling myself until proven otherwise._

_I’m glad you moved to the Crucible. Hackett’s likely to have the best damn security of anyone in the Alliance, so say behind him. He’ll get shot first._

_I love you._

_Kristoffer_

* * *

 

_From: Steven_

_To: Zaeed; Ink_

_Subj: Are you there?_

_It’s been weeks._

_We’re making progress here. Kristoffer’s not Ink, but he’s done impressively well with the council races. We’re weeks away from being able to return to Earth though._

_I need to know if you’re safe…alive._

_Steven_

* * *

 

People in mass were often panicky and foolish. Ink remembered Kristoffer telling her that once while she was still in her teens. He was right. It took all of her skills as a Commander to keep the calm in their bunker and keep Zaeed from shooting the people they’d rescued.

Her desire to avoid war had exploded in her freckled face. They were all trapped with no working comm system and the war literally outside the bunker doors. Ink wished they had some idea of where the Alliance was in their efforts—if anyone was even alive.

“They bloody left.” Zaeed stormed into the room they were using as an armoury which Ink often used to find a little alone time. “Fucking stupid bastards.”

“Left?” Ink almost dropped the rifle she’d been cleaning while she stared at him in confusion. “Left? Who left?”

“The two young punks that I’ve been telling you would be a goddamn problem.” Zaeed plucked the rifle from her hands. “I was interested to see there were no fucking husks anywhere visible before I sealed the doors.”

Ink sank down heavily on the bench behind her. “None?”

“A lot of bodies.”

“Paska.” She ran her fingers through her dirty and greasy hair. They’d run out of bathing water a week ago. “Do you think the war is over?”

“No goddamn clue.” Zaeed set the rifle down. “Comms are still down.”

Ink took a shuddering breath and got to her feet. “We have to find out.”

“Yep.”

“I’ll go. You stay, keep the people safe.” Ink figured it would be easier for her to slip through the familiar streets.

“Not a _goddamn_ chance, Sweetheart.” Zaeed shook his head. “These stupid bastards can stay here by themselves for a few days. I’m _not_ leaving you.”

“Technically, I’d be leaving you.” Ink turned around to start preparing the weapons they would need while they avoided mentioning the unspoken topic.

_Was Steven alive?_

_Were Kristoffer and Britta and Hawk alive?_

 


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all sadly.
> 
> Kudos, Subscriptions and Bookmarks are a drug that I love to receive. Comments are chocolate, they make everything better. I am thankful for all of them.
> 
> Shout out to my spectacular betas: CelticGrace & MissMeggo929
> 
> Hope you enjoy

Ink had seen pictures in history class of what the devastation wars and bombings had done to cities. She stood in the centre of what had been downtown Helsinki with a feeling of awe and despair. Her city was utterly decimated. She sat on a pile of rubble that had been the brothel her aunt owned.   They’d searched the city and found few survivors, and no sign of the Alliance or the Reapers.

They also discovered several downed Reapers none… _living_.

It was a relief since it meant the Reapers had lost.

_Right?_

The comms were still not quite functioning. Zaeed was still dicking around with a radio they’d found in wrecked shuttle. It was down the street from the brothel which was why Ink had decided to investigate her old hell.

She found in the rubble, to her amusement, an old piece of jewellery that her aunt had loved. She spent ten minutes using it for target practice. There was nothing left of it aside from one of the gemstones when she was finished.

“Having fun, sweetheart?” Zaeed leaned out of the shuttle to frown at her. “Stop wasting the goddamn bullets.”

“What exactly am I saving them for, _sweetheart_?” Ink ignored him and fired off another shot. “I’m going fishing.”

“Fishing?” Zaeed’s frown deepened. “Fishing?”

“I’m hungry, and I’m tired of canned herring,” Ink shuddered. “The Reapers are obviously destroyed. There’s fish in the water, I know how to catch it. I don’t see any Alliance ships anywhere around. _Paska._ I’m sure Steven will come looking for us eventually, or Kristoffer.”

“If they’re alive.”

She stared down at the weapon in her hands. “Don’t.”

“It’s something we’ve been goddamn avoiding, but…”

“I said don’t, Zaeed, just…don’t.” Ink pushed herself up to her feet. “We managed to stay alive in the bunker.”

“It was a bloody war, sweetheart.” Zaeed stepped out of the shuttle and moved toward her. “We don’t know _who_ survived. People die in war.”

Ink restrained herself from punching him. “I know, I was one of them.”

“Sweetheart.”

“Go kick the radio and leave me alone.” Ink started walking down the broken street toward the nearby docks. She’d barely made it halfway down the block when the sounds of both vehicles on the ground and in the air could be heard nearby. “Zaeed?”

He was out of the shuttle before she finished his name. They both scanned the skies before finally spotting several shuttles toward the south which appeared to be flying in a grid search pattern. Ink raced over to the nearby buildings to haul herself up to a first floor balcony to get a better look across the city of rubble.

“Toss me a flare.” Ink waited impatiently until he flung one of the flares from the shuttle up to her. She pointed it in the direction of the shuttles and set it off. “Here’s hoping they aren’t indoctrinated.”

“Now who’s being fucking depressing?” He dodged the rock she beamed at him. “Watch it, sweetheart.”

“ _Paska.”_ Ink hopped back down to the ground. She gripped the rifle in her hands tightly. “What if they are dead?”

* * *

 

_From: Britta Nolek_

_To: Steven Hackett_

_Subj: My husband and my daughter._

_The last I heard from Kristoffer was he was leaving the forward operating base to head toward the beam._

_Have you found Ink and Zaeed in Helsinki yet? I know several of Ink’s former crew are searching for Kristoffer and Hawk. Have you heard from any of them?_

_Find them, please._

_Britta_

* * *

 

The end of the war hadn’t brought Hackett a whole lot of joy. He was happy to have the fighting over, but suddenly found himself missing his entire family. The Crucible had exploded destroying a large section of the Citadel. He knew for certain both Anderson and Ink’s friend, Hawk, had been at lost in the blast.

No one had heard from Kristoffer Nolek since they made their push toward the beam. Hackett formed a search party to head immediately for Helsinki and ordered Major Coats along with the crew of the _Normandy_ to see if they could track down Nolek. He hoped to god they found him still breathing. He didn’t want to think about what the loss of both her friend and her adopted father would do to Ink.

_He didn’t want to think about what losing Ink and Zaeed would do to him._

It seemed to take forever to arrive in Helsinki. The city was as damaged as most major cities across Earth.   Hackett opted to hitch a ride on the lead shuttle. He couldn’t stay on the cruiser and wait for word. He wanted to be there, no matter what they found at the bunker.

Engineers were working to repair the comm towers and buoys, but so far it wasn’t enough to send out any sort of message. Hackett was standing in the shuttle behind the pilot when he spotted a flare in the city. He ordered the pilot to change course immediately.

He spotted the two familiar figures sitting on a down Kodiak before anyone else. “ _Thank god.”_

The shuttle door had barely opened before Hackett jumped out and rushed over to the arguing pair. Ink spotted him first. She stopped mid-sentence and nudged Zaeed in the arm to get his attention. They both seemed frozen as they watched Hackett approach.

“Where the _bloody hell_ have you been?” Zaeed shoved Hackett when he went to hug both of them. “Where…”

Ink pulled them together so she could wrap her long arms around their shoulders. “He’s been grumpy the entire time. He also stinks and he loves you _.”_

“Just Zaeed? I love you so much.” Hackett rested his forehead against hers while Zaeed’s arm threatened to crush his side from where held his husband. “It was a _long_ journey from London. It was long and filled will so many thoughts of not finding you alive.”

They clung to each other before Ink finally extracted herself from the two men. She scowled fiercely at Hackett and he knew immediately what she was going to ask.   He eased her into his arms while meeting Zaeed gaze. The two men shared a worried look when the inevitable question about Kristoffer, Britta and Hawk was asked.

* * *

 

_From: Britta_

_To: Ink_

_Subj: re: Hawk._

_I was so sorry to hear about your friend._

_They still haven’t found Kristoffer. I…just don’t feel as if he’s gone. Are you headed to London to search? Hackett mentioned you wanted to._

_I love you. Be safe. I can’t wait to see you again._

_Britta_

* * *

 

The journey from Helsinki to London Ink spent most of her time hiding in the shower in the Captain’s quarters. She’d stood under the warm water and tried to keep an image of her dead friend out of her mind. She also avoided thinking about Kristoffer.

She had insisted on immediately going to the last location Kristoffer had been seen. There was no way in hell that she could ever relax and enjoy being alive with her two men without knowing if the man who had saved her at sixteen were alive or not. The warm water washed away the grime from days without a shower, but it couldn’t do a thing for the fear settling in her heart.

Searching through the wreckage left by the Reapers trying to stop the Alliance advance toward the beam, Ink was reminded of the day her parents died. She’d felt a similar sense of dread when she’d been told about it.

Keeping to herself, Ink worked silently in the massive debris field. The two men stayed closer to her side. They seemed to understand her fevered pace.   They found several marines alive and others who hadn’t been so fortunate, but no Kristoffer.

The sun was starting to set when Ink spotted the heel of a boot near a damaged truck. She moved quickly toward it. She went around the corner and fell to her knees when the marine attached to the boots came into view.

 _“Oh god._ ” Ink crawled forward and clutched at the man’s hand. “Kristoffer? Can you hear me?”

She could hear Zaeed and Steven behind her calling for medics. Ignoring them completely, her attention was focused on first determining if he was alive—just barely. Her sigh of relief was drowned out by a raspy voice calling her name.

“Kristoffer?”

“Heard you the first time.” He opened his eyes and met her gaze. “What’s with the tears?”

“I thought…” Ink squeezed his hand tightly. “It’s been a long day.”

“We won?”

“Yes.” Ink refused to step back when the medics arrived. “Britta’s fine.”

“Of course she is.” Kristoffer winced when the medic started to check his leg. “She’s as stubborn as you are.”

“Me?” Ink twisted her head to the side to hide a sudden rush of tears. She finally turned back to him with a wry smile. “It runs in the family, yes?”

“My daughter is as stubborn as her mother.” Kristoffer agreed readily before glaring over at Hackett and Zaeed. “Ugly bastards. Why couldn’t you have left them behind?”

“ _Paska.”_

* * *

 

_From: Kristoffer_

_To: Britta_

_Subj: re: No._

_Why not?_

_I don’t see what the big deal is. So the three of them are on their honeymoon, it’s been three months. I’m tired of dealing with Hackett’s job. I think we should head out to the cottage in Helsinki and crash their party._

_And yes, I’m messaging you so you can’t swat the back of my head immediately._

_Don’t you want to go fishing?_

_I hear the fishing in Helsinki is impressive._

_Kristoffer_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ink is another character like Dillan who toward the end stopped talking to me. It's one of the reasons why a lot of the last couple of chapters weren't in her POV. I'll likely revisit Ink again at some point.

**Author's Note:**

> Face Reference:  
> Inkera: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/83755824743/inkeri-ink-shepard  
> Kristoffer: http://pixelatrix.tumblr.com/post/83131686865/silverfoxmen-laurence-nicotra-model


End file.
